If you ever go to register for gifts, I have one piece of advice that I didn’t hear or find anywhere. Discuss with your significant other (or whoever is registering with you) what is appropriate to register for and what isn’t.
We knew what we needed – I had read all the books and made a list and Frank had lots of good ideas and advice from first hand experience. What we didn’t agree on was what was appropriate to register for. It’s already uncomfortable enough to be making a list – it feels like you are asking for things – that you really should discuss these things before you get to the store.
Here’s some things you should think about:
- Is it appropriate to register for lots of "big ticket items"? Will you feel like someone spent too much if they get one of them?
- Should you select exactly what you want (this pooh-bear hat) or are you just selecting things to give people an idea of what you need or like?
- Should you register for toys that you don’t "need" but would really like to have?
- Should you register for all those little items that you’ll need but aren’t typically considered gift items like diaper rash cream and baby soap?
- How many of each thing should you register for? Are you going to feel greedy if you register for eight bibs instead of two?
Obviously, nobody has to buy you anything, much less anything you registered for, so it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal what you register for or don’t, but I really felt like we were asking people for something and it made me hyperconsious of everything we put on the list. At one point Frank said, we shouldn’t register for that thing because we can afford it. And my response was, we could afford everything on the list! So he said, that’s why I didn’t want to register. To which I responded but people are going to buy us things anyway and most of them like knowing what we need! We want to make sure we don’t get 30 bibs! (Or do we want 30 bibs?)
What a useful but strange and awkward custom is all I can say in retrospect.
P.S. Did you know you need a swing and a bouncy seat for a baby? The book said so and I didn’t believe it so I made it a swing "or" a bouncy seat and Frank (who thinks I’m a bit silly for reading all the books) was very adament about the fact that we needed both of them. Maybe we ought to give the baby our room and move into the smaller one ourselves. 🙂
3 Replies to “Registering for Gifts: Advice you won’t get in a book”
Oh goodness…I don’t know what I’d do without the bouncy seat. Of course we have the low profile (travel) swing that only my first son really loved…but now have two bouncy seats (three if you count the one at my parents’ house) AND a rocker/bouncer combo. I may have to post on my site on this issue…in your honor (I have a great photo of many of the seats at work at the same time). One piece of advice on the bouncy seat…make sure the vibration doesn’t have an auto turn-off (the frustration you may experience the few times you forget to turn it off and have to replace the batteries is FAR LESS than the frustration of having to get up and turn it back on every 15 minutes!) Good luck!
“Maybe we ought to give the baby our room and move into the smaller one ourselves. :)”
Yes, babies today have lots and lots of helpful accessories, and yes, they take up a lot of room. As grandmom to 6 little boys 5 and under I can tell you that is true! But if I thought you were serious about giving up your room I would caution against it. You’ll be going through enough transition w/o giving up your special resting place!
As I write this I see photos of your grandmother Vera streaming past. Wonder what she would say?
I think we’ll keep our room for now – I think baby stuff will just take over the house!
I think my grandmother would have been really proud of her pictures being online and very proud to be a great-grandmother again. I’m sad she’ll never get to meet this great-grandchild. Who knows – maybe she would have finally taken that trip to Colorado that she kept talking about!
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