Comments on: 5+ ways to make women feel welcome at technical events

By: Stormy's Corner , Archive » Who do you represent?

Stormy's Corner , Archive » Who do you represent? — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 01:56:16 +0000

[...] 5+ ways to make women feel welcome at technical events [...]

By: behdad

behdad — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 16:03:25 +0000

Richard makes a good point. At some point you have to agree that not every one at a tech conference has average or higher social skills. Hell, there was a guy at GUADEC this year that was quite intimidating to many of us. He kept following us and wanting to stuff himself in our small circle when we really wanted to be alone and talk about some confidential matters. It’s not just about hitting on girls. Most of us are weird in one way or another, and some of that shows easily.
Stormy makes great points. I have been to tens of conferences, and still if I go to a conf and don’t see many of my friends right away, I feel a bit awkward. Do I know their culture? Do I act awkward because their community is different from mine? etc, etc.
I’ve found that a great way to deal with it is to think of it as if you’ve gone to a huge party. To some degree, a tech conference *is* a huge party. Feel free to approach people, socialize, go out for snacks or drinks with them, and if someone hits on you, well, deal with it like you do at a party.
Cheers,
behdad

By: Richard

Richard — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:00:59 +0000

Why are people so afraid of being “hit on”? Keeping a conversion a little bit flirtatious is fun, and does no harm.
I think the problem is really more about “poor social skills” in general, so when the techies go out every once in a while and talk to other people, then the problem will solve itself.
Cheers
-Richard

By: andre

andre — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 12:15:57 +0000

Yepp. Andreas’ last posting reminded me of Kathy Sierra who also blogged about conference t-shirts: http://headrush.typepad.com/creating_passionate_users/2006/12/tech_tshirts_ar.html .

By: Andreas Nilsson

Andreas Nilsson — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:48:23 +0000

One thing the organizers of the event can do to make women more welcome to conferences is to provide t-shirts in fem sizes. Turning it around, I know I would feel left out as a man if there were no t-shirts in male sizes at a event I would attend to.

By: stormy

stormy — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:17:01 +0000

@SteveALee pointed out the “dress code”. Newbies should know that most developers at tech conferences wear tshirts from other conferences or previous years’ conferneces or even this year’s tshirt. They like them and it’s a point of pride.
That doesn’t mean you have to wear a tshirt – I’m just pointing out that they aren’t “just wearing tshirts”. They are wearing specific tshirts that they expect people to notice. Wearing your favorite grungy Timbuktu tshirt is not going to make you blend in. That said, I don’t think anybody is going to be too concerned with what you are wearing.

By: stormy

stormy — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:06:01 +0000

I bet most often they’re intimidated/shy themselves. I dragged a couple of friends around a show once talking to total strangers and I was informed that most people don’t approach total strangers like that. So I think it must be something about the tech conference culture and we need to introduce people to it!

By: stormy

stormy — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:04:46 +0000

Oh, good point. I’ve caught myself doing this a couple of times … not asking someone who looks like the SO what she works on. Often it turns out she’s a hacker too. Or she’s *the* hacker and he’s the SO tagging along to the technical event!

By: stormy

stormy — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:03:29 +0000

I think sometimes you just have to point out that the comment was sexist by turning it around. I think often people don’t even think about it. I’d rather educate than shun unless they are doing it deliberately to scare people away.

By: stormy

stormy — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:02:03 +0000

Agreed you shouldn’t be too blatant about why you’re doing it. I talk about my SO and my kids all the time to everyone though, so hopefully nobody thinks I’m doing it to ward them off!