I’m going to post about deciding to stop breast feeding because I couldn’t find hardly anything at all about deciding to stop breastfeeding on the web. As much information as there is on the web, some topics are very hard to find!
I decided to stop breastfeeding after a month and while I was considering it, I searched the web extensively. While there is a ton of extremely helpful information on breastfeeding on the web, it is all centered around solving any problems you might have, not in making a decision one way or the other. (And if it is about making a decision, they spend pages and pages telling you how good breastfeeding is for your child.) There’s also no information about, when you decide to quit, exactly what you are supposed to do. Stop cold turkey? Gradually phase it out? I did find three pages of information on stopping breast feeding:
- Ending breastfeeding. This poor woman had obviously already decided to stop breastfeeding (a hard decision!) and the expert answering her email first questioned why she’d made the decision. The expert did answer her question about how to stop breastfeeding and said to gradually wean the baby by cutting out a feeding every day or two.
- Life After Weaning: Ending the breastfeeding relationship. This was actually the most helpful webpage. It’s an excerpt from a book and actually talks about both the physical and the emotional effects on the mother and the emotional effects on the child. (Note that the emotional effects on the child tend to be largely those that breastfeed for several years. It doesn’t talk about the effects on an infant.)
- ending breastfeeding….what happens? This was a very short discussion between moms about what happens. Like the previous article it suggests weaning slowly and points out that you should never completely drain your breasts if you want your milk to dry up.
Deciding not to breastfeed is a very hard decision because while nobody says it’s wrong not to breastfeed, the minute you become pregnant you are inundated with literature and people telling you how good breastfeeding is for your child and offering all sorts of support. (In particular the hospital staff and nurses were awesome. They were extremely supportive, very helpful and offer all sorts of free services to help and encourage nursing moms.) And when I asked friends and family what they thought everyone was very careful not to say anything one way or the other. Although all offered support either way! And many pointed out that there are plenty of healthy children and adults who were not breastfed.
So why did I decide to quit? It wasn’t health reasons, it wasn’t because I couldn’t nurse Caleb and it wasn’t because Caleb wouldn’t nurse. (Those seem to be the “acceptable” reasons to give for stopping breastfeeding.) I quit for many reasons, although it basically boiled down to the fact that I didn’t like it. Here are the reasons I didn’t like it, pretty much in order of importance to me:
- Time. It was extremely time consuming. During the day Caleb wanted to eat every 1.5 to 2 hours. And he ate for 30 minutes. So that means that 25-30% of my waking day was spent feeding him. That’s a lot of time! And planning around that is very difficult. (And it’s really hard to pump milk so that you can leave him with someone else for an hour or two when you are already nursing all the time. We ended up using formula in those cases and Caleb didn’t seem to mind going back and forth at all.)
- Worry. I was always worried he wasn’t getting enough to eat (why did he want to eat so often!) or that what I was eating or drinking might affect him. (How many diet coke’s should you drink? Probably none, right? So what about the two you just drank?) And it turns out he probably wasn’t getting as much in the afternoon as he wanted because he’s much less fussy now. But the doctor said he was getting plenty because he was sleeping 4-5 hours at night and gaining plenty of weight.
- Sore nipples. A month is a really long time to have sore nipples. And yes, he was latching on and eating correctly. I think just feeding him 30% of all waking hours made them sore. I’m sure eventually they would have toughened up.
Of course I have doubts and regrets. Most of them centered around the health benefits. Breastfeeding is supposed to help kids’ immunity and decrease their long term odds of obesity. Those are the two I worried about the most. But I’m confident that there are lots of other factors that also influence Caleb’s health and the two of us being happy is one of them! (I realized I never talked to him when I was nursing him except to wake him up continuously and to ask him if he was done yet. When I feed him a bottle I talk to him the whole time and it’s fun!)
I feel a little bit like I’m airing my personal diary in this post, but I wanted to make the information I found available to others and I wanted to add my own experience and decision to the pool of knowledge so that others might feel more comfortable making a decision one way or the other.
When I quit, I got very engorged and it hurt some but not as bad as it seems to for some.
I fed Caleb twice the first day I quit and then the next day I pumped just a very small amount a could of times. Just to let the pressure off. (If you pump too much you’ll keep producing.)
This is a great forum. It is nice to hear some good information from REAL women on deciding to stop breastfeeding before the recommended 6-12 months.
I too had a horrible experience breastfeeding. Everyone in the hospital had different advice. One nurse told me to supplement because my baby wasn’t getting any milk (after the colostrum was done) and was having crystals in her diaper while the lactation nurse told me that was BS and to just have faith. Well, I ended up supplementing a little when I got home from the hospital until my milk came in (about a week later!). My baby was definitely dehydrated – she wasn’t peeing very much or pooping and her lips were so dry. It broke my heart! When my milk finally started coming in I would nurse around the clock – it was SO HARD! My baby girl had no trouble latching but would fall asleep often or act hungry but then just use me for a pacifier. So I would typically nurse for an hour before she would fall asleep. Before I knew it, she wanted to nurse again! I cried and cried, many times during the middle of the night because I was exhausted and my breasts and nipples hurt so much.
I decided to give my baby one bottle of formula every night at about 2-1/2 weeks old. After 4 weeks I quit nursing and pumped every 3-4 hours. I also was giving my baby 3 bottles of formula a day so my husband could help. Now my baby is almost 2 months old and is only getting one bottle of breast milk a day. I am pumping every 8 hours and am ready to stop completely. She is doing great on formula and I am so happy to be almost done pumping.
I also wanted to say that my baby developed some bad sleeping habits because of breastfeeding. She would typically fall asleep on my breast after she was done, so that is what she got use to doing. Especially during the middle of the night when I would also fall asleep while she was nursing. My husband and I have been working with her very hard to get her to sleep without being on or right next to one of us. It is hard work but I know we will get through it.
I can honestly say that stopping to breastfeed was the best decision for me. It was physically and emotionally draining. Everyone is different – but if you are considering stopping than don’t beat yourself up. Formula today has come a long way since 30 years ago when my mother gave me and my sister formula and we are as healthy as can be! Give yourself a LOT of credit for even trying the breastfeeding! A ton of Mommas DON’T! As one of my friends told me, “Put those boobs back in a pushup and pat yourself on the back. You done good! You are a fabulously devoted Momma. Now hand the bottle off to others so they can help with a lot of the feeding – it’s a wonderful time to bond!â€
Thank you for writing this!!
My son is 4 weeks old on Thursday and I’ve had 4 that’s FOUR episodes of mastitis already. How could this be possible? I truly don’t know why this is happening, nor do the doctors. I’m on my fourth course of antibiotics, which appear to be unresponsive now. I truly can’t take this anymore. I am obviously immune-suppressed and I need to get some sleep and rest or I’m never going to get better.
My husband and I made a decision to switch to formula so I can be a mother to our son. I cried and cried and cried about this decision, but I know this is the best one for us. There must be a reason I am getting so sick – the fevers, pain and antibiotics are not helping my son at all. Although it may be more expensive to formula feed, I am confident that this is the best decision for us. I did enjoy breastfeeding – it was all those great things BF advocates say, but medically, it just doesn’t make sense for us. I need to be a mother and that’s far more important than whether or not I’m feeding my son breast milk.
Besides, for all those who have stopped breastfeeding, we are still FEEDING our children – not starving them! To hell with the guilt! Geez. 🙂
This website is like a dream to me. My daughter is 13 days old and I have been breastfeeding ever since she was born with an occassional formula bottle in there every once in awhile. She flips from breast to bottle just fine. Last night I decided (quite tearfully) to quit breastfeeding for all of the million reasons listed above (number one being that I only produce about 10oz a day). The la leche league consultant said that i MIGHT be able to increase my milk supply after 3-4 days of straight nursing, but who has 3-4 days for a gamble like that? I also have a 3 yr old that needs her mom too—- and I feel like all I do is nurse. I cried and cried and cried over the decision as I feel defeated and I love the bond that the baby and I shared during nursing, but the emotional stress I was enduring was not worth it for me or the rest of the family. I was so glad to see that this site was here. I was actually looking for HOW to stop breastfeeding as I stopped cold turkey and my breasts are HUGE and sore and overflowing today. I did let the baby nurse for about 2 mins on each side just now to relieve some pressure in my nipples— ahhhhhh that was like a dream. I guess I’ll do that every once in awhile for a few days until I start to dry up. Ladies– thanks for making me feel like I’m not alone…. :O)
Hi all, like so many others who have stumbled across this page I’m so so relieved that I am not alone and that so many others feel exactly the same way I do. What I hate is the look every single health professional seems to give you when you tell them you are not exclusively BF or BF at all. They can really make you feel so inadequate and that you’re the worst mum in the world! That post from ‘Cavewoman within’ really p*ssed me off too. Just when you thought you’d found a safe place where you can vent, one of them infiltrates….
Anyway, I had 2 episodes of mastitis in the first couple of weeks, touch of the baby blues, and a 3 year old to consider too. One thing I’m so grateful for was my mother’s words of wisdom and encouragement, telling me that no one’s gonna give me a medal for BF and I should not feel guilty at all. If it’s so unbearable you should stop, she won’t starve and others can also have the pleasure of feeding the baby too. That was a few weeks ago, and I think now, after finding this wonderful website, minus Cavewoman from NZ, I have finally made peace and decided to stop breastfeeding my beautiful baby girl. She’s healthy, she’s strong and as babies pick up on the smallest of vibes you give off, allowing myself to be sane and happy and healthy again is the best gift I can give her, my son and my family as a whole! Thanks everyone for sharing your stories :o)
I’m glad I found this website. My daughter is a month old now and I’ve been BF her the whole time. At first she wouldn’t latch on correctly and it made my nipples sore and cracked. I saw the lactation consultant and she showed me how to get her to feed correctly. I was so sore that I couldn’t feed her for at least a day or two. I was told to put anti-biotic ointment on my nipples so they could heal. In that time I became engorged and my daughter didn’t want to nurse. I tried pumping for the first few days and all I could get was an ounce of collostrum each time. I spent no time with my daughter the first few days, I was too busy trying to get something out of my breasts to releave the engorgment (crying the whole time). Well, un-beknownst to me, I have a “flat nipple”. I had to see the consultant again because the cuts and cracks weren’t getting any better and my daughter wanted nothing to do with the flat nipple. She gave me a nipple shield which helped to get the nipple to draw out, but my nipple isn’t used to being “drawn out”. It never healed right. Well, I kept putting my daughter to the breasts because I felt it would be better to keep trying. I was also getting a lot of pressure from my husband (who couldn’t understand why I wanted to stop BF). I brought my daughter into the peds clinic the other day for a check-up because she kept crying all of the time. The doctor said that she wasn’t getting enough breastmilk and she had lost a lot of weight. I was feeding her for 45 min every 2 hours. He said I would have to supplement. So, I did and she got less fussy. The only problem was she throwing up everywhere, all of the time. I changed her formulas and found that Similac Isomil Soy w/ Iron was best for her. I decided not to breastfeed yesterday because my nipples never healed. Even pumping causes pain. I pumped the other day and my nipples came out looking like chapstick. Now, after the chapstick look-a-like contest, I have an infection in one of my breast. Can you guess which one? Yeah, the one with the “flat nipple”. I guess some things are just best left alone. I’ve quit “cold turkey” because I can’t stand the intense nipple pain. I told my husband that by helping w/ feedings he can bond with our baby, too. That seemed to help things with him. I now have more time for my 5 yr old son as well. If breastfeeding didn’t hurt so darn bad, I would still do it. Thank you for posting this. And for everyone else out there, do what is right for you and your sanity. At least you tried in the first place.
Hi all,
Thank you Stormy for posting this! I too could not find any info on how to stop breastfeeding without being bombarded with ‘BREAST IS BEST’ info. From the beginning I’ve had so many issues in trying to breastfeed. I was all gung ho that I would breastfeed my baby until 6 months and it would all go smoothly and wonderfully well because I did tons of research. Wrong! Since day one I’ve had sore, cracked and bleeding nipples, even with nurses and LC’s helping me with latch-on. Turns out I have flat nipples. On top of that my daughter is a voracious sucker and I would cry everytime she woke for a feeding. I can’t tell you how many hours I have spent crying and agonizing over breastfeeding. Since day four I have been pumping and even that is very painful! My daughter is 3 wks old today and I woke up this morning to a throbbing breast/nipple and thought to myself-I can’t do this anymore. I am having constant plugged milk ducts that are incredibly painful. I have seen a variety of Lactation Consultants, spent an enormous amount of money on them, bought a $250 electric pump which doesn’t really work for me, ended up renting a hospital pump which still hasn’t increased my supply and causes me pain, not to mention other supplies/herbs and nothing is working. I feel I have truly done everything I can to try and make this work. I simply can’t go through the pain of clogged ducts day after day. I massage, I put on heat packs, ice, salt water, you name it. I feel my daughter is really suffering as I get frustrated with her when she won’t allow me time to pump. But isn’t it all for her in the end? It’s just not working for me, and I have to feel confident with my decision to stop. Thank you so much for posting this. It’s really a relief to know there are so many mom’s out there who are struggling like I am with this decision and I just wish the best of luck to you all!
I also found this article online which helps with suggestions on how to stop breastfeeding…
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Breastfeeding-1764/stop-breastfeeding-3.htm
Thanks so much! My little one is at 5 weeks and I’m weaning him this week. The relief from the time I’ve gained has been great…especially in the middle of the night. I think I may get to sleep over an hour straight this weekend because my DH can now take over some of the feedings. I’ve gained back a lot of my sanity and think I am taking better care of him now than when I was a breastfeeding zombie. We’ll also be travelling a lot this month and having him on formula will make that a lot easier.
And as far as mama and midwife goes, we were told by our pediatrician to supplement. He told us our son would let us know if he was still hungry and this would be good to get him “cross-trained” (his word!). So, not all medical professionals out there agree that formula is evil. Babies this young don’t cry because they’re trying to manipulate; they cry because they need something from you. Thank God formula now exists in our day so we can fulfill more of our babies’ needs.
I’d love to read more about the info someone posted above that babies get the best stuff in the first 6 months. (What I really want to know is how much different will it be since I’m just past a month?)
I really appreciate your honesty about this issue. Today I made the decision to stop breastfeeding after 11 wks. and it is a hard one but I know that it is the right thing for me and my family. Noah is my second child and it has been very hard to breastfeed and handle my other child, a very active four year old. I only breastfed my first for three weeks and I was determined to stick it out this time for at least six months, but I realize that it’s better for every one that I stop now. Also, I know I’ll be returning to work in the fall and pumping at work is not an option. Anyways, it made me feel a lot better just to know that there are other mothers who love their children struggling with this issue. Best wishes to all the Moms and babies!
Thank you for posting your comments. I am a first time mother and my son just turned 4 months old. He was breast fed for his first week of his life. We had a lot of problems getting him to stay interested in it. I was determined to do this, so I’ve been pumping my milk since he was a week old and bottle feeding him with it. He took to the bottle great. I have supplemented with formula half of the time to see if he would take it. No problems. When I returned to work, I continued to pump, however I had a lot of problems with my co-workers. I work with all women and breast feeding in public would not have bothered me, but I want to be alone and relax when I pump at work. Some of my very curious co-workers would walk in on me all the time! I know they were just curious, but come on! Finally a manager offered me his office that has a lock on it. I was off work again for about a month and a half. Still pumping! It’s a hassle, but I wanted my son to have the best. I feel quilty that I want to quit just because I’m going back to work, reading all these comments has helped. I agree-a happy mother is better. I also wanted to have a natural birth, but when contractions came I called for the drugs-which I don’t regret! My advice: do what feels right to yourself and don’t worry about what other people say or think.
I want to stop breastfeeding now, after 2 weeks. My biggest problem is that my breasts are a size E and I’m very short. They are very heavy. At night, if I try to sleep 6 hours, my bed and shirt are soaked with milk. As for my size problem, no nice shirts fit me really, and I have to go back to work soon. My nipples are inverted, so I’ve been pumping every 3 hours except when I sleep and my husband watches over — that feeding is formula.
I couldn’t find any information on “how to stop” either before finding this site. Thanks. I’ve been told to use cabbage leaves for 20 minutes twice per day, and wrap a “postpartum belly wrap” around my breasts with cold packs stuffed in there. Sounds painful. I go back to work in 2 weeks, so I think I will start reducing soon and skipping more breast feedings.
I am so glad to see this post. I have beeb BF for 3 1/2 weeks, and when I went to my Dr yesterday, I broke down in tears, and told him I was so stressed about BF that it was taking a toll on my hubby and my 20 month old. I’m sure it was affecting the baby, too.
I stopped cold turkey last night, and I am IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!! how long does the pain last? My dr said not to pump even a little bit…ugh!
Whether or not to pump a little bit I think depends on whether you want a lot of pain for a short time or a slightly less amount of pain for a slightly longer time. I pumped just a bit. (Don’t let the baby nurse though – mine got really mad when I made him stop early!)
I think it took me two days to dry up.
My son is 5 months old next week and was exclusively breastfed for 3 months while I was home with him. When I returned to work I continued to nurse him morning and evening; he receives 2 bottles of pumped milk and 2 bottles of formula while I’m away from him. I am experiencing intense feelings of guilt because I have been producing less and less milk each time I pump (3-4 times/day). When I first returned to work I could express 7oz. at a sitting. After a week at work it dropped to 4oz. The past few weeks I have dropped to 3oz. Last night I got 1oz. I know he’s not getting enough from me because he now always drains both breasts (before he only ever drained one) and cries for more. I loved breastfeeding. We never had problems with it. Working full time and not getting proper nutrition or sleep so I can spend my time away from baby pumping is taking it’s toll. I sleep 5 hours/night so I can get one extra pumping session in. I use my lunch and break at work to pump and eat whatever I can in the time it takes to ride the elevator up to the room I pump in. I have one months supply frozen, which I plan to begin using. I hope to continue to bf him morning and evening, but will have to give a bottle as well, I’m sure. It breaks my heart – I was fed formula and am perfectly healthy. I know 5 months of breastmilk was a good start for him, but it’s the physical bonding I am going to miss. He really likes nursing over the bottle and so do I. I have come up with so many pros and cons for both arguments. The reality is that as a full-time working mom, it’s just not working anymore. Every day of the two months I’ve been working has been a struggle. I drag my pump and supplies to work every day and there isnt’ a day that passes that I don’t worry about my milk supply. I feel that I’m mourning this in a way. After reading all your posts I suppose I should be celebrating how easy it was for both myself and my son and the 5 months we made it. He began eating cereal a month ago and began eating babyfood today, so I guess I reached my original goal of breastfeeding until babyfood. I think as mothers we are all too hard on ourselves…a good friend told me when I became a mother that no matter how much I do for my child, I will always feel like I need to do more to be a really good mother. I think our children all think we’re great no matter what we do. Working, stay-at-home, breast or bottle feeding, single parent or married. I think in all of our cases, the decision we make to stop breastfeeding will be harder on us than it will on our children. God Bless you all and give you peace in your decisions ~
I am soooo glad that I came across this site cause like all of you, I was also looking for info on how to stop BFing. I had just given birth to our 2nd child and like the 1st, I tried BFing a few days and gave up and started to express the milk instead due to sore nipples etc. I actually dread feeding time cause that’s when I had to bite my lip and endure the pain during BFing. Anyway, I am thinking of stopping expressing my milk after 1 month and like all of you, I too have mixed emotions about it. Like many, I feel guilty as though I am depriving my child of all the goodness of BM but on the other hand – expressing my milk is just eating so much of my time! If I am not tending to the baby, I am expressing milk! I feel so much better after reading this. Thanks everyone!
well fed my first daughter for 18 months, my second 12 months…. but my son who is now 14 weeks old i have decided to stop, painful as this is and guilty as i feel, breastfeeding just doesnt fit in with my life now… i dont believe i am doing wrong,surely it is better for the whole family to be happy, which you cant be with a tired stressed mother around! been 3 days now and he is doing ok on the bottle, i need to do what makes me happy…. so do you!!!
My daughter is what the lactation consultants call a slow-gainer. She is not latching on very well and seems to get frustrated when we have to go through the routine. I am also frustrated and worried that she is not getting a lot from me. I am not enjoying it either. I thought I would but I just can’t bring myself to go through with it. After 2 weeks I’ve decided to quit and every web site I’ve visited has made me feel guilty about my decision. This post has made me realize that there are others out there like me. My friend told me that being a new mom is hard enough without the added stress of nursing. I’m so happy that I came across this post in my search, thank you for making me feel better about my decision.
hey,
My son is now 6 month and 2 week old. He never latched on to me right from the beginning. Thanks to the electric pump, i could still give him breast milk. But after he was 4 months old we gave him around 600ml of breat milk and introduced aroubd 240ml of formula. He didnt seem to have any issues with the formula.
But i am now thinking of weaning off, because it puts a lot of restrictions on my day today activites. Plus next month i am visiting India and will be in flight for 36 hrs. What do i do during those 36hrs? I cant use an electric pump in the flight and my son doesnt latch on to me.
However i am feeling extremly guilty. I know that breast milk is considered best for my baby and i am still capable of producing 400ml of milk everyday (the rest is substituted with formula and solids). So will i be causing harm to my baby’s health? I wont be able to forgive mself, if my baby would fall sick frequntly after i stopped giving him breast milk. is this just a myth of mine? is 6 – 7 months enough ?
I cannot express how much all these postings have meant to me! They totally expressed how I feel!!! I just had baby number two and she started off wonderfully breastfeeding. I was using nipple shields when I left the hospital to help her latch on. She then needed them all the time. Then for whatever reason, two nights ago, she stopped latching on all together. I considered consulting a lactation specialist, but as I had gone through this with baby number one, and had so much guilt and so much trouble, I just decided to stop altogether. It is a very hard decision, full of guilt, and subject to other’s opinions and judgements. But, overall, I needed to make a decision that would allow me to be there for my 2 year old, my husband, and myself. The sleep deprivation, the pain, the frustration, the feeling of failure every time they would not latch on…well, it just meant so much more to be able to be more sain and have more emotional time to bond with my new baby. Reading all these email have made me know even more I made the right decision and more importantly, that I am not alone!! Now if I could just get my baby to sleep longer at night : )
I cannot express how much all these postings have meant to me! They totally expressed how I feel!!! I just had baby number two and she started off wonderfully breastfeeding. I was using nipple shields when I left the hospital to help her latch on. She then needed them all the time. Then for whatever reason, two nights ago, she stopped latching on all together. I considered consulting a lactation specialist, but as I had gone through this with baby number one, and had so much guilt and so much trouble, I just decided to stop altogether. It is a very hard decision, full of guilt, and subject to other’s opinions and judgements. But, overall, I needed to make a decision that would allow me to be there for my 2 year old, my husband, and myself. The sleep deprivation, the pain, the frustration, the feeling of failure every time they would not latch on…well, it just meant so much more to be able to be more sain and have more emotional time to bond with my new baby. Reading all these email have made me know even more I made the right decision and more importantly, that I am not alone!! Now if I could just get my baby to sleep longer at night : )
I don’t have children but we are planning to in the near future. It’s nice to see advice about not bf. People that lash out at others for not doing it probably never went through what some of the posters here have gone through. I would like to try one day for as long as I can stand it, but I’ve also heard that even a few weeks worth of bf produces long-term good effects. I’ve seen lots of mom’s go through all of these feelings and switch to formula. I don’t understand how someone could say “keep going” when your baby is STARVING due to lack of production. Give that child some formula for goodness sake. As for “cave mama”, I think it’s rude to keep posting on a site that you have already agreed to disagree on. Leave these moms alone!
Thanks for the forum here, as I’d like to vent a little angst.
I’m someone who pumps every day bc I could never get our baby to latch on well. She’s 4 months now. The only thing keeping me going is that I love her and will try what I can for her, and saying to myself that I’m a third of the way to the one year mark already. If I feel like stopping before then, I know that I’ve tried to give her the best I could and I think it’s no one else’s business what I do – it’s part of my relationship with her.
Common sense tells me that it’s crazy to think it’s so critical that she be kept away from formula for the first year. She’s probably going to have vitamin supplements (like many healthy adults do) one day, so what’s the big deal?
As for trusting the opinion of the medical community, just remember that this was the same group that told us all to keep our babies on their tummies at one time (now this is linked to SIDS), and also told us all at one time to feed formula instead of breastfeeding (in that sense, aren’t they in part to blame for the lost knowledge and support for how to breastfeed in our parents’ generation? It’s ironic that they are now pointing fingers at us for not being able to do it). Finally, I’d like all of those female pediatricians that worked full time for a whole year while exclusively breastfeeding or pumping to please come forth and share the secrets of your success so that I can understand why you so easily put forth this notion that it’s what every woman should be doing!
I am praising God that i found this site. i too have been having all of these crazy feelings about breastfeeding and wanting to stop. My son is 3 weeks today and I have been miserable. I have been sick with UTI, yeast infection, hemmroids, and fever blisters since coming home with him. I feel like my body is shutting down. I cry all the time and hate feeding time. My nipples are sore and my son has had some trouble with latching and detaching for several minutes before actually feeding. He also shacks his head while feeding, which feels like he is trying to pull off my nipple. Talk about painful. So, with all this said, last night at midnight I decided to stop breastfeeding. Last week I had to stop for three days so I could take medication to clear up the UTI, so I know he will take formula. However, the guilt is overwhelming. I am actually a pediatric nurse practitioner and have actually taught women how important it is to breastfeed. The wonders of breastmilk, how could I possibly consider stopping. Reading the same emotions that have been running through my mind has been so helpful. I have hated the negative feelings I have had each time my son was hungry. Not being able to just hold him because he roots the entire time I am near. I have not told my friends that I am stopping for fear of judgment. However, for the first time in 3 weeks, I am happy. I slept last night while my mother feed the baby. I am sitting with my son, who is content, and enjoying a peaceful morning.
When I had my son in December 2004, I searched and searched for a site like this, and would end up in tears every day as all I could find was “breast is best” propaganda. My son was a miserable nurser and I cringed every time I had to feed him. It was horrible. I went cold turkey at 3 months – sports bra, cabbage leaves, cold packs, no showers for three days – and ended the madness.
So why in the world did I start breastfeeding my daugther who is 11 weeks now? The guilt. However breastfeeding her has been easy as could be. She was a natural. So it’s not just the mom – it’s the baby, too. However, I work full time and have to go back in two weeks, and I also have to travel for my job, so continued breastfeeding will not be an option. I am trying to wean her gradually and it is absolutely KILLING me. Plugged ducts, mastitis… I may have to cold turkey her as well, but am dreading the pain!!!
My son, incidently, who was only breastfed for 3 mos is the picture of health. My 3 year old nephew never received a drop of breastmilk and is also fine.
Both of my children have had no problem taking a bottle, taking a bottle from me, taking formula, switching back and forth…I think the sites that try to guilt us about how stopping impacts baby are full of bs. Maybe if the child is older it’s different, but a 2-3 month old just wants to eat.
When I had my son in December 2004, I searched and searched for a site like this, and would end up in tears every day as all I could find was “breast is best” propaganda. My son was a miserable nurser and I cringed every time I had to feed him. It was horrible. I went cold turkey at 3 months – sports bra, cabbage leaves, cold packs, no showers for three days – and ended the madness.
So why in the world did I start breastfeeding my daugther who is 11 weeks now? The guilt. However breastfeeding her has been easy as could be. She was a natural. So it’s not just the mom – it’s the baby, too. However, I work full time and have to go back in two weeks, and I also have to travel for my job, so continued breastfeeding will not be an option. I am trying to wean her gradually and it is absolutely KILLING me. Plugged ducts, mastitis… I may have to cold turkey her as well, but am dreading the pain!!!
My son, incidently, who was only breastfed for 3 mos is the picture of health. My 3 year old nephew never received a drop of breastmilk and is also fine.
Both of my children have had no problem taking a bottle, taking a bottle from me, taking formula, switching back and forth…I think the sites that try to guilt us about how stopping impacts baby are full of bs. Maybe if the child is older it’s different, but a 2-3 month old just wants to eat.
I’m so glad I found this site. My daughter never really nursed well. After about 5 weeks I started pumping and giving her breastmilk in a bottle. This was working fo awhile but she’s now 7 months old and crawling and into everything and I just don’t have the time to be tethered to a machine for 20 minutes. I’ve got a ton of frozen milk so I’d really like to stop, but I don’t know the best way to do it. I’m an OB nurse and have talked to every lactation specialist that I work with and none of them have really answered that question for me.
I am so glad I found this site. I have been struggling with breastfeeding from day 1. I had an emergency c-section, my son spent 2 days in NICU, and my milk was slow to come in. On top of that, I had trouble with not enough milk, so I had to supplement from the beginning. I have tried everything to continue breastfeeding, SNS, herbs, Domperidone, oatmeal, pumping and pumping, and then pumping some more. I am so exhausted. Now, at 5 months, my son has weaned himself from breastfeeding. He would scream every time I tried. So now I am pumping all the time, but find it very hard, and it takes away time with my son. I am feeling so guilty about quitting, but I think I need to for my own sanity. Thank you for the information. And to the woman that said that she worked with Australian Aboriginals, and they never had problems and it is all our own fault for low milk supply, how can you be so calus. I have literally tried everything I can think of to increase my supply, and nothing worked to the point that I could not give some supplement. Maybe you should consider other people and their situation before posting such remarks!
Thanks for posting this its so nice to see that others are going through the same dilema as me.
I tried to BF my first daughter but she was so sleepy from Jaundice she was a very lazy feeder and I was severely aneamic so my milk supply wouldn’t establish. so we switched to bottle after 12 days..
With my second daughter i tried to BF again and at first it looked promising she was feeding ever 1-2 hours day and night and was appearing satiated after feeds she was producing wet and dirty nappies but she was LOSING weight rather than gaining, which was a huge blow as I understood my first daughter not gaining as she hardly fed but my second daughter (now 4 weeks old) was feeding constantly but losing weight.
So we started to do top-ups but she started to then get really fussy at the breast and after a week or this I decided to switch to the bottle as the anxiety of whether she was getting anything at the breast was really dragging me down!
I was expressing for a while but on one sitting I expressed 4oz and it appeared to be all foremilk! so i lost faith in that too
Amy pretty engorged at the moment but hope it’ll calm down soon..
I have to remind myself that my first daughter who is 20 months now is healthy, bright and happy so my feeding choices have done her no harm
I am also so grateful to see these postings and know that I am not alone in feeling guilty and disappointed, but relieved at my decision to stop trying to use my breast milk. I had twins at 34 weeks with pre-eclampsia, they were fine except needed to grow in the NICU for a couple weeks, but that was enough to get them used to a bottle nipple. My production was never that great even with pumping every 2 hours. I had gained about 20 pounds of water weight in the last several weeks of the pregnancy from the preeclampsia and afterwards the water weight rapidly came off…and then I kept losing weight which I thought was still water weight. I had basically no appetite though and so it was not just water I was losing. This may have contributed to poor milk production too, but the biggest factor I think was STRESS over trying to nurse and SLEEP DEPRIVATION. My Mom would even help bottle feed at night (the babies have bad reflux so feeding is a 60-90 minute session) so I would just wake up to pump and go back to bed, and then I’d feel bad at not being the one to feed them. After mastitis, the poor output, trying to stimulate by putting them to the breast with the SNS (supplement nursing system) contraption and nipple shields, and basically doing nothing but pumping and nursing for several weeks, I decided to stop. With more rest I have started to eat more, so I think the low appetite was exhaustion not postpartum depression. Thanks to all the moms who have affirmed their babies are fine not breastfeeding. My little ones are 5 weeks old now and I am hoping I can say the same in several months!
I just had my first baby boy on June 21, 2007 and have been in an emotional roller coaster since he was born. I had not been enjoying motherhood at all due to breastfeeding issues (sore nipples, inproper latch on, difficulty in meeting his hungry demands every hour or 1.5 hours, no sleep at all, and not being able to take care of myself). I had hired a Lactation Consultant and spent $200 (US Dollars) and went through numerous exercises with her which didn’t work or make the breastfeeding any easier. I also bought a breast pump (another $300) and could not find time to pump regularly so was afraid I would not be able to produce enough milk for my baby’s next feeding. Also, I felt that everything I ate was bothering my baby b/c he was having horrible gas and pains after feedings. It is now 2 weeks after his birth and since yesterday, I have only been giving him formula (nestle goodstart) and it has been a world of difference. I’m grateful to hear that there are other women out there like myself!
Thank you for posting all this information on a website for women to read. I am a practicing physician who just had my first child in May 2007. I know the benefits of breastfeeding like decreasing the risk of GI, respiratory, and ear infections as well as decreasing the risk of obesity and providng a child with a higher IQ. So, obviously, I tried breastfeeding. My baby would latch on, but unfortunately would bite down with her gums which are made of bone!!! I was in tears with each feed. I went to lactation specialists for help and was in more pain after the consultations. So, I decided to pump my milk and bottle feed my child. I was pumping every 2-3 hours around the clock even when my child and husband slept!!! I had to set an alarm clock to wake up on time. I was always tired. I could not leave the house without my pump (I even had to pump in restroom stales!!). After 6 weeks of soley pumping, my nipples cracked. I used special “healing” creams which did not work well b/c my nipples needed to rest from the constant friction/pressure from the pump. Over 2 weeks, I extended the pumps to every 4 hours which was against the advice of my lactation specialist’s advice, but still produced 5 ounces a feed. My freezer is a milk production factory. After 7 weeks, i am trying to stop this craziness!!! I have been told to drop a feed every 5 days which leaves me engorged with blocked ducts. The reason why I am writing this note is to inform woman that the benefits of breastfeeding is ONLY good while they are breastfeeding. The risk of infections like GI/respiratory/Ear decreases only while getting breast milk so if you breastfeed for 1 month vs 3 months…the later person, only protects her child by an additional 2 months compared to the person who breastfed for 1 month. Also, the higher IQ is only if you breastfeed for 6 months straight and the higher IQ is by 2 points!!! (a bad day on the medical board exam can make me lose 2 points!!!) Is this enought info to make it worth the craziness, the pain, and the tears of breastfeeding??? Not for me anymore!!! I still have at least another month of pumping before this nightmare is over b/c I still have another 5 feeds to drop. I applaud all those women who can breastfeed till 1 year of age. So far, I have spoke to many female doctors as well as other childbearing women…NOT one person has had a joyous experiencing breastfeeding, but I still tilt my hat to all mothers who can breastfeed their babies! Hope this information helps someone out there 🙂
I delivered my baby on 5/28/07. He was 4 weeks early, but healthy. In the hospital, I had the nurses give him a bottle during the night(the nurse recommended so I could rest) and I tried to BF during the day. He would latch on every now and then, but most the time he would just sleep. After 3 days he developed jaundice and was always falling asleep at the breast. I could not wake him up for the life of me. I hated the whole BF experience. I pumped my milk and would only get a total of 3 oz with each pumping…sometimes 4 if I was lucky. BF and pumping, I felt like a factory. After a couple of weeks, I bought nipple shields to help him latch on and that worked right away. I also think the fact that he was bigger and stronger helped him to latch on also. I stopped the nipple shields after about 1 week. When baby was 4-5 weeks he wanted to eat about every hour. I did not know about the growth spurt. If I did I would have let him go on the breast when he wanted it. I did not know about the “supply and demand” aspect. At 5 1/2 weeks we took the baby up to our cabin. I felt trapped. I was depressed and felt that I could not do anything but feed the baby. My husband and I were/are fighting like crazy. I am sleep deprived. I am contemplating giving up the BF altogether and just give him formula. This past week we started giving formula at night, when he is fussiest and also began giving him some when he is still hungry after BF. He is fine with the formula. Today I almost gave up on BF. I feel so guilty. I spoke to the lact. consultant and she said she would rather me give some formula instead of giving up BF altogether. I just don’t know what to do. I know I will be much happier giving up the BF, but I will also feel guilty about it. I know the BM is so much better for him. I am just tired of watching everything I eat, fighting with my husband, not sleeping, feeling trapped, sore nipples, what else????
WHEN MY SON WAS BORN ALMOST 5 YEARS AGO I BREASTFED HIM FOR 2 MONTHS AND FELT NO GUILT AT ALL FOR QUITING. MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN 2 WEEKS AGO AND AFTER CRACKED AND BLEEDING NIPPLES, CLOGGED DUCTS AND SEEING 2 LAC CONSULTANTS I DECIDED TO JUST PUMP. THE REAL PROBLEM WAS I WAS PUMPING FOR 20 MIN EVERY 2 HRS THEN FEEDING HER AND DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO TAKE CARE OF MY SON. I’VE SPENT DAYS CRYING OVER THIS UNTIL YESTERDAY WHEN I DECIDED TO GO COLD TURKEY AND EVEN THOUGH I’M ENGORGED I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH BOTH MY KIDS!!
thank you so much for posting this! i have a 3 week old (caleb!) and ive nursed exclusively for those 3 weeks. it turns out i dont love it – i almost resent the feedings and i have not been able to find anyone or any site that was supportive of me stopping “just because”. i almost wish there was a REASON to quit. but, like you, i have enough milk, caleb is latching on and eating fine, gaining lots of weight and all that 🙂 im just going nuts nursing him for an hour at a time – every three hours. my boobs cant take it!
so thank you again for helping to let me know that im not alone out here, and that im not a bad mother for not wanting to continue on like this. the links you offered have helped a lot. 🙂
I am so glad I found this web site and have read all your postings. My daughter is 2 months and I have decided to stop feeding. It has been so hard to find information on how to care for your breasts if you decide to stop and this forum has been very helpful.
I made allot of newbie mistakes when trying to BF and I wonder if I could have prevented some of my problems had I knew then what I know now. I also spent money on a lac. consultant (who was a very wonderful person and I can’t say enough about how wonderful she was). I wish I had seen my lac. consultant the day I was in the hospital that was my first mistake. If I had her in the beginning I think it would have gone better.
I had problems with latching my baby. She was chomping down on my nipple and I wasn’t getting enough of the areola in her mouth. That went on for 3 days! I was in tears constantly because I was sure I wasn’t doing it right. I dreaded feeding my baby, I didn’t want to put her on my breast. I was on the brink of quiting then. My husband finally researched BF on the internet and found diagrams. He was so helpful and supportive in helping me latch the baby. But it wasn’t until I saw my lac. consultant 7 days after my baby was born that I finally started to have no pain when latching. She instantly corrected all my problems.
I also didn’t know about the growth spurt thing and didn’t understand why my baby wanted to feed every hour in that first week. My fear was that I had no milk and she was starving. And as it turned out in my case she was starving! I was only producing half of what she needed. So we had to begin supplementing her with formula. I started to pump my breasts exclusively not long after that and I was only pumping at best 12 ounces a day, about 2 ounces per pumping. My baby being a 9 pounder needed 22-24 ounces of food a day.
Then to add insult to injury my period returned at the 6 week mark. When my period returned I was only pumping 4 ounces a day. I asked my doctor if my milk would return and he said that it could when my hormone levels changed after my period was over. He was very supportive and gave me a very knowing expression and said “it hardly seems worth it for 4 ounces, huh?”. He encouraged me to wait a few days after my period before I made a final decision. I was going to keep pumping if my 12 ounces a day returned, but it has not. At best I’ve been getting 5 ounces.
I hate giving up and I don’t quit easily on things. I too feel so guilty, like my body has failed, like I have failed. This is going to keep bothering me for some time I think.
thank you! I have to make the decision soon…
My 11 month old Daughter has been breastfed since birth and it has been a roller coaster the whole time. She did well after my sister showed me exactly how to get her to latch on and I told myself that if I could make it to 6 months then I would be so proud of myself. Everything went well when I stopped pumping and after 3months my nipples stopped hurting, bleeding etc… I wanted to quit breastfeeding but now the doctor told me that she has failure to thrive. She eats 7 times a day and has some table food in between. When she nurses though it is only for 3-4 min on each breast at a time. At night, we do give her breastmilk in a bottle and that is 6-7 ozs. plus cereal. I only think that she is getting 2-3 ozs. at her breastfeeding sessions during the day. Lately she has been refusing to nurse and refusing the bottle. I tried to figure it out and I think that she is only getting around 20 ozs. and day. The pediatrician is telling me to give her more table food but I feel that the milk is more important. I’m changing her diapers more out of the smell of urine than the fact that they are really wet. She may have two or three really wet diapers a day. He sent her for blood work and they found out that her platelet count was high and something with her Thyroid was high. But he said that as long as she was happy and meeting milestones, they aren’t going to do any more tests for a while and see if she gains weight on her own. When she was born she was 7lbs 10ozs and she weighs now 17 and half lbs at 11 months. She started out at the 50th percentile and has gradually made it down to 10th percentile. I’m so concerned that something is really wrong and I don’t want her to end up in the hospital. It is such a fight for her to nurse or take a bottle, it is like she is never hungry and she used to be. She is just so busy playing and crawling around that she doesn’t want to eat. Can someone give me some advice. My husband’s family is small and mine is average. Is it maybe that she is just going to be small?
I also forgot to say that she won’t take formula milk or soy. The only thing she will take is breastmilk sometimes. I also had failure to thrive at 6mo. and was put into the hospital and they never found anything wrong with me as a baby. I’ve been thin my whole life.
Thank god for this site! It has been extremely helpful. My daughter had jaundice when she was born & kept falling asleep at the breast. We tried everything to keep her awake and feeding as in order to get rid of the jaundice, she needed to feed. This was a vicious cycle as she wasn’t feeding so we couldn’t get rid of the jaundice. She lost 13% of her birthweight in the first week and was dehydrated. Our midwife recommended that I continue to breastfeed and did so & felt that we were getting somewhere – she was latching on, looked like she was finally feeding & not falling asleep. When midwife came back to weigh her, she had gained nothing. This was a huge blow, to say the least. I was then told to put her on the bottle & to express & top up with formula which I have been doing for the last 2 weeks. She has finally reached her birthweight but only just. I went to the pediatrician to make sure she didn’t have an infection or something that was preventing her from putting on weight and the doc told me to increase my feedings; put her back on the breast to nurse to help the quality of my milk and then to top her up with the bottle & to pump right after! I burst into tears as I would literally be doing only that all day long and still not know how much milk she was getting (she HAS TO HAVE at least 3 oz / feeding). I would be making her work so hard to feed, my nipples can’t take it, I’m missing out on spending time with her, the anxiety is tremendous, the pressure & stress is effecting my marriage and it’s a constant buzz of the pump. Have decided to stop bf all together and feel a huge amount of relief. I know that just the fact am not anxious & stressed is better for my daughter, my family and my sanity however still fill guilty but am hoping that will go soon. This site has helped so much! Am now just pumping once a day in the morning to relieve some pressure and hope I will dry up soon so I can get my life back and start enjoying being a mother. Thanks to everyone who has posted their stories!! Remember, doing what’s best for you will absolutely be what’s best for your darling child. Happy mommy = happy baby! Lots of love and support xoxoxo
I stopped breastfeeding my 2nd child about a week ago. I did not wean, even though it may have been less painful if I did. I was away from home for a week (with my baby). I forgot to bring the tubes for my breastpump, so I could ony breastfeed him. Since he was born, I have had more milk than I needed, coming out too fast. My nipples have been very sore the whole time. After 4 days of only being able to breastfeed, I finally got some tubes to pump the extra milk and be able to feed some bottles. Then one night a few minutes after I had started pumping, I looked down and saw the bottle had pumped about an ounce of blood and milk. I started freaking out. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had said that I would try to stick it out for another month, but I just couldn’t stand the pain and stress that it was causing me. I didn’t even want to pump anymore because of the blood incident. So I haven’t breastfed or pumped in 1 week. My breasts were already full when I made the decision and got the cabbage leaves, so I started from full when I put the cabbage on. I haven’t found much info about what to do when you are going cold turkey like this.
Thank you so much for this info! I am trying to stop due to Mastitis and a flat nipple and still feel guilty. We all can’t do it! Thanks again1
I’m one of you guys, and grateful also for stumbling upon this site.
I’m a doctor, and am used to telling mothers during pedia visits that they really should give BF top priority. I was somehow aware that it wasn’t easy for some, so during my pregnancy, I’d always say that I planned to BF, with a little disclaimer, “I hope I can do it.”
My main problem was my inverted nipples (latching problem), but even when I was sort of able to address this by using nipple shields, I was feeling most of everything described on this site: fatigue and exhaustion, frustration (when he can’t latch properly), feeling stuck to my baby and unable to attend to other responsibilities…with strength afforded by reading the entries here, I can now say “I was very unhappy!” I found myself dreading feeding him–and the stress I felt especially at night time when I had no help from anyone (I had other family members to help out during the day), I felt, kept me from enjoying him and bonding with him (ironically) during the day and in general. I was really forcing the exclusive BF thing the whole 3 weeks leading up to his first pedia visit, and it was causing me so much stress. I feel a big part of why I wanted to tough it out was the fact that as a doctor, I somehow felt I had to practice what I preached, but I think it was more of a pride thing, thinking if they can do it (and I ask them to do it), so can I.
I guess I want to share with my fellow doctors (and other health care professionals) my experience, and to exhort all of us not to be so judgmental. The first few weeks (even months) after delivery is a very emotionally, hormonally turbulent time for most moms, and we can do without the added pressure to “give the best gift for baby.” I believe mothers, not just at this crucial time, need to be encouraged NO MATTER WHAT decision they’ve made about BF.
Good job all of you for giving it your best. I am actually still breastfeeding, and plan to go to about 6 months or so. My daughter is 2 months. I had a very difficult time at first, but had an excellent lactation consultant to work with. Still afterward, I had one side that was just much more tender than the other, but it eventually (after about 7 weeks) got better. The nursing is going well. However, I hate pumping. It takes forever, I can’t get much out, and, yes, I feel like a cow. My husband and I go out nearly weekly on dates (sanity saver!) and so now that I am out of pumped milk, we will be suplementing with formula.
I supplemented with my first daughter starting at about 5 months, as I was taking an evening class. I then supplemented a couple feedings/day after that, then stopped at 9 months when she bit me and drew blood. So, for those wanting to know how to quit without going cold-turkey-engorgment, just go slow. If you’re pumping, just don’t pump as much. Reduce it slowly, and you won’t be huge all the time. It takes longer, but you might like it better. If it’s taking too long, just stop! 🙂
Who cares what other people think about your breastfeeding? In response to the Midwife from NZ: I sure am happy that we have so many medical advances that allow us to not live life the way they did 100 years ago. Should we outlaw blood transfusions and organ transplants? Yes, it would be nice to have perks of other medical systems, but I’m glad to have the one I have here in the US. Worldclass.
Be informed and make your own decision.
A couple of afterthoughts:
1. If you stop nursing and change your mind, you can often start it up again with pumping. This stimulates the breast into producing milk again. From what I understand, you can only do this up to a week or so after lactation stops.
2. I liked nursing a whole lot more the second time around. The first time was a duty, which I did not like. Give it a shot with the next baby, things may be different. (Even though it took about 7-8 weeks to be pain-free, it really is a sweet experience this time.)
Also, here is the information so many want: An article on how to stop cold turkey (and dealing with engorgement) or gradually reducing through pumping:
http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/breast/AS-lacsuppression.htm
It is refreshing to see this article. There are so many people who say you should keep breastfeeding no matter what. I breastfed my daughter for around three weeks before I stopped. Main reasons: sore breasts (although not as sore as some of the people I’ve read on here), took to much time, and I just didn’t really like it that much. After that, I would occasionally pump, but I was sick of having sore breasts (on top of everything else), and that too took up a lot of time that could be spent with my child. I switched to supplement and never felt guilty about it. My husband didn’t give me any arguments over it either, so that helped. My daughter actually switched over quite nicely. She never became fussy, and has been the picture of health even afterwards. I don’t know why deciding to not breastfeed your children is so looked down upon with some women. Many people where formula fed and they are fine. I myself was a formula baby. My mother never breastfed me. Guess what, I’m healthy, have a BA degree, and I’m fluent in Japanese. Giving your child supplement will not kill them or damage them in the end. Yes, the breast milk is healthy and can help prevent certain illness, but so does not letting them around smoke, feeding them fruits, and doing baby exercises with them . Just because it’s a natural thing doesn’t mean that everyone should do it, even if they don’t want to, or if it’s causing more harm than good. If you like to breastfeed, then good, but don’t go around telling others that they are wrong for choosing not to. In the end, one needs to make sure that they don’t let their children eat the wrong things like junk food, don’t let them become couch potatoes, and make sure that overall they have good morals, work ethic, and eating habits. Breastfeeding is not the be all that determines how healthy and how good a child will be.
What a bunch of quitters!! Get tough or just choose to feed you baby a bunch of shit!!
Wow “Marykatherine” what an understanding and compasionate person you must be! And what an eloquent way of expressing your thoughts! It is women like you and those LaLeche breast-nazis that cause women to quit sooner than later b/c rather than offering support and encouragement you simply pass judgement and act all high and mighty.
Stormy- thank you for your post, and thanks to everyone who has posted a comment. I have been breastfeeding my daughter for 3 months. I am planning to stop and feel guilty, even though my husband and family are totally supportive. My mother had trouble breatfeeding – I was formula fed over 30 years ago and you know what…. I am healthy, I am smart, I have never been overweight, I have never had any major allergy issues or the illnesses that we are told breastfeeding helps to prevent, and before she passed away, my mother was my best friend- so I don’t think you need to breastfeed to establish the mother/child bond! I agree with all those who say a happy mom is best!
All of these comments are very shocking and sad to me. It’s strange to read that so many people feel inundated by breastfeeding “propaganda”; as someone who is intending to breastfeed for at least two years, I can tell you that I feel as if there is enormous pressure to bottlefeed formula. Formula feeding is the norm in American society; something like 90% of mothers do it after the first month. I, for one, think it’s a shame.
There’s an overabundance of misinformation floating around out there: This post and its replies is proof of that. For example:
– Pump output has nothing to do with what your breasts are producing. Your baby is the most efficient way to get milk out of your breasts; even a hospital-grade pump can’t match it. I can’t pump more than four ounces a session using one, and that seems to be about average. If you’re pumping instead of nursing, it’s going to be more difficult to feed your baby in the long run.
– A baby isn’t frustrated at your breast because he or she is hungry. S/he’s frustrated because s/he’s a baby. They get pulled out of your womb into a big, wide world, where they feel weird things (hunger, bathroom urges, heat, cold) and see new things and everything is just very, very different. Plus, they’re growing, and growing hurts. Besides, all babies have fussy periods, and late afternoon is a peak time for it.
– A baby wanting to nurse all the time is absolutely normal. That’s what they do. The more time spent at the breast, the more milk you will produce. They’re not just doing it to eat more, but to get you to produce more for future eating.
– “I worry that the baby isn’t getting enough.” If the baby’s producing a proper number of wet and dirty diapers and gaining weight, there’s nothing to worry about.
– ANY formula you give a baby will cut into your supply. Any time you give a bottle and don’t pump, your body is getting the signal that it doesn’t need to produce milk at that time. It becomes a vicious cycle.
– A baby sucking down everything you give it in a bottle doesn’t mean that it’s hungry. They’ll eat from a bottle whether they’re hungry or not, partly because if they don’t, they’ll choke, especially with fast-flow nipples, and partly because if you put something in a baby’s mouth, the baby will suck on it. And if it sucks on a nipple, it’s going to get fed.
– As far as flat nipples go, I have nipples that are as flat as can be. It’s more difficult getting my daughter to latch, but it’s totally possible. Try the “breast sandwich.”
– You’re not going to love every minute of it. Do you love every diaper change, or every middle-of-the-night feed even if you’re serving formula? You’re not a bad mother if you hate breastfeeding sometimes.
As far as a lack of sleep goes, look into co-sleeping. I’m rarely tired during the day because of it, and I’ve got a fairly high-needs baby.
Breastfeeding can be tough, but that’s largely because there’s so much misinformation and so little support. The way I look at it is that motherhood is partly a sacrifice, and I’m willing to sacrifice whatever I need to in order to provide my children with the best.
I applaud any woman who even tries breastfeeding, since that alone is going against the grain. But I also sincerely hope that they’ll stick with it, despite problems, and educate themselves as much as possible about what exactly is normal when it comes to breastfeeding. It does improve with time, and it’s the healthiest food option for baby AND mom.
Seriously, if you don’t want to do what nature expects you to do as a mother, you should not have kids. It’s plain laziness and weakness of character. Breastfeeding is natural and it is best for your baby. You don’t have an illness to prevent you from breastfeeding; you just put yourself before your child. Breastfeeding is tough, motherhood is tough – If you can’t deal with it, why be a mum? You can’t even make a much needed sacrifice!