I’m going to post about deciding to stop breast feeding because I couldn’t find hardly anything at all about deciding to stop breastfeeding on the web. As much information as there is on the web, some topics are very hard to find!
I decided to stop breastfeeding after a month and while I was considering it, I searched the web extensively. While there is a ton of extremely helpful information on breastfeeding on the web, it is all centered around solving any problems you might have, not in making a decision one way or the other. (And if it is about making a decision, they spend pages and pages telling you how good breastfeeding is for your child.) There’s also no information about, when you decide to quit, exactly what you are supposed to do. Stop cold turkey? Gradually phase it out? I did find three pages of information on stopping breast feeding:
- Ending breastfeeding. This poor woman had obviously already decided to stop breastfeeding (a hard decision!) and the expert answering her email first questioned why she’d made the decision. The expert did answer her question about how to stop breastfeeding and said to gradually wean the baby by cutting out a feeding every day or two.
- Life After Weaning: Ending the breastfeeding relationship. This was actually the most helpful webpage. It’s an excerpt from a book and actually talks about both the physical and the emotional effects on the mother and the emotional effects on the child. (Note that the emotional effects on the child tend to be largely those that breastfeed for several years. It doesn’t talk about the effects on an infant.)
- ending breastfeeding….what happens? This was a very short discussion between moms about what happens. Like the previous article it suggests weaning slowly and points out that you should never completely drain your breasts if you want your milk to dry up.
Deciding not to breastfeed is a very hard decision because while nobody says it’s wrong not to breastfeed, the minute you become pregnant you are inundated with literature and people telling you how good breastfeeding is for your child and offering all sorts of support. (In particular the hospital staff and nurses were awesome. They were extremely supportive, very helpful and offer all sorts of free services to help and encourage nursing moms.) And when I asked friends and family what they thought everyone was very careful not to say anything one way or the other. Although all offered support either way! And many pointed out that there are plenty of healthy children and adults who were not breastfed.
So why did I decide to quit? It wasn’t health reasons, it wasn’t because I couldn’t nurse Caleb and it wasn’t because Caleb wouldn’t nurse. (Those seem to be the “acceptable” reasons to give for stopping breastfeeding.) I quit for many reasons, although it basically boiled down to the fact that I didn’t like it. Here are the reasons I didn’t like it, pretty much in order of importance to me:
- Time. It was extremely time consuming. During the day Caleb wanted to eat every 1.5 to 2 hours. And he ate for 30 minutes. So that means that 25-30% of my waking day was spent feeding him. That’s a lot of time! And planning around that is very difficult. (And it’s really hard to pump milk so that you can leave him with someone else for an hour or two when you are already nursing all the time. We ended up using formula in those cases and Caleb didn’t seem to mind going back and forth at all.)
- Worry. I was always worried he wasn’t getting enough to eat (why did he want to eat so often!) or that what I was eating or drinking might affect him. (How many diet coke’s should you drink? Probably none, right? So what about the two you just drank?) And it turns out he probably wasn’t getting as much in the afternoon as he wanted because he’s much less fussy now. But the doctor said he was getting plenty because he was sleeping 4-5 hours at night and gaining plenty of weight.
- Sore nipples. A month is a really long time to have sore nipples. And yes, he was latching on and eating correctly. I think just feeding him 30% of all waking hours made them sore. I’m sure eventually they would have toughened up.
Of course I have doubts and regrets. Most of them centered around the health benefits. Breastfeeding is supposed to help kids’ immunity and decrease their long term odds of obesity. Those are the two I worried about the most. But I’m confident that there are lots of other factors that also influence Caleb’s health and the two of us being happy is one of them! (I realized I never talked to him when I was nursing him except to wake him up continuously and to ask him if he was done yet. When I feed him a bottle I talk to him the whole time and it’s fun!)
I feel a little bit like I’m airing my personal diary in this post, but I wanted to make the information I found available to others and I wanted to add my own experience and decision to the pool of knowledge so that others might feel more comfortable making a decision one way or the other.
This post helped me so much. I like many other mothers have been unable to find anything about stopping breast feeding on the internet, all I could find was about how wonderful and positive it is. My daughter is 9 days old and I’m considering stopping. Breast feeding has its advantages, but it also has its disadvantages. I’m exhausted all the time, I feel like all I do is feed her and stress about feeding her. I’m not enjoying my dgtr. at all. I want to be happy when she’s awake, not stressed about the next feeding. I’m still deciding what to do, but thank you very much for all the posts.
Thank you so much for posting this. We have decided, tonight actually, to stop breast feeding for the exact reasons you did as well. I have extreme guilt but this helped reading this, knowing Im not alone in this situation. I have a toddler and that feeding 25-30% of my awake hours (feels like 90% honestly) isn’t doing well for my toddler, I feel like I have no time for her. If Im not feeding my daughter, Im making meals, cleaning, doing dishes, laundry, and have no time for my oldest. If I wait till the household goes to bed, Im up till the early waking hours getting everything done. It’s just not working for my household.
My daugher is 10 months old and I just stopped pumping. I tried nursing her when she was first born, but she was a premature, so it just didn’t work. It would take an hour and a half to try and nurse her. I couldn’t deal with that, so I started pumping and pumped for 10 month. I decided to stop pumping because it was getting really hard on my nipples. It almost looked like they were starting to tear. Anyway, my question might be silly. Every since I stopped pumping I’m going to the bathroom all the time! I thought I had the start of a bladder infection because I was going all the time, but found out it was not a bladder infection. I’m not drinking a lot of fluids, so that wouldn’t be why I have to pee all the time. My husband suggested that maybe my body is absorbing the milk and that is why I’m going to the bathroom more. Anyone have any ideas?
My daugher is 10 months old and I just stopped pumping. I tried nursing her when she was first born, but she was a premature, so it just didn’t work. It would take an hour and a half to try and nurse her. I couldn’t deal with that, so I started pumping and pumped for 10 month. I decided to stop pumping because it was getting really hard on my nipples. It almost looked like they were starting to tear. Anyway, my question might be silly. Every since I stopped pumping I’m going to the bathroom all the time! I thought I had the start of a bladder infection because I was going all the time, but found out it was not a bladder infection. I’m not drinking a lot of fluids, so that wouldn’t be why I have to pee all the time. My husband suggested that maybe my body is absorbing the milk and that is why I’m going to the bathroom more. Anyone have any ideas?
I started expressing milk and bottle feeding my daughter when she was exactly one month old, because I was fed up with spending more than have a day feeding her – also my husband was very keen on feeding her as well! She took the bottle very easily. I starting weaning her when she was almost three months old, by substituting one feed with formula. Now she is almost four months, and she breast-feeds two to three times a day, the rest is formula or expressed breast milk. I will stop breast-feeding entirely when she gets to be around five months old. I’ve been cutting down breastfeeding very slowly and it’s working out very nicely. I think doing it slowly is very important so that the mother does not suffer with engorgement.
Breastfeeding is good for the baby, but a mother should not dislike it or feel guilty about not doing it. I discover that I enjoy breastfeeding much more now (that I do it a few times a day) than in the beginning when I had to feed her every hour and I didn’t even have time to eat… Now it’s actually something I look forward to doing first thing in the morning and last thing before going to bed! (believe it or not, my baby sleeps eight hours continuously, from 12am to 8am)
Thanks so much for this post.. I of course found it as I was looking for articles on how to stop my milk supply. I have been bfeeding/pumping for 12 weeks and am trying to decide whether to stop. I started working again and taking my pump w/me to work, coming home and pumping, getting up in the middle of the night to feed is just too much stress. I keep telling myself that it’s ok because I believe I will be a better mom if I’m not EXHAUSTED and resentful of the fact that I’m the only one waking up at night… it’s nice to know that I am not alone in these thoughts!!!
We all know what is best for us and our babies.
After 2 weeks of breast feeding I decided to put Holly on to formula today and I have been feeling down and guilty the whole day about it. Holly is happier than ever and has just slept the whole day. I really wanted to breast feed,but I could not handle my nipples bleeding and aching anymore (it was pure torture). I used to dread every feed with her and was just too stressed out. It is so nice to see that there are other moms out there who are going through the same thing.
At the end of the day, Holly is happy and I am happy. I feel like i can interact with her more and she is far less grumpy.I can now enjoy every moment with her…. thanks everyone
Wow, what a great page. My daughter Alex is 6 months old and from the beginning I always wanted to breastfeed. At first she wouldn’t latch on and my nipples were so sore they would bleed. It was horrible. I pumped for 1 1/2 months and it was SUCH a pain. So at that time I was going to stop because I was so fed up with pumping and depressed about that whole situation. But I said Ok, I’ll try ONE more time and miraculously she latched on perfectly! So I said I’d breast feed until 4 months, but I loved it so much (it’s SO EASY compared to cleaning bottles!) I kept breastfeeding and Alex is now 6 months old. The WHOLE time I was breastfeeding I was constintly battling dehydration so I think it’s time to stop. She isn’t a newborn anymore! But I’m SO SAD about it and I feel so guilty. She loves it SO much (she likes the bottle too) but I can just tell by the look on her face that she is just in heaven with her ninnie! God I don’t know what to do! It really sucks.
I have a 3 1/2 month old and started out breastfeeding. Throughout my pregnancy I was determined to do it for at least 3 to 6 months and then slowly wean him. I also have a 5 year old and tried breastfeeding with him. It didn’t work out too well…I think because it does take much more than putting them to the breast. It’s so true that you have to increase your calories and your liquids and that was so difficult. I was 21 when I had my 5 year old and cried the whole 3 weeks I tried bf him. I gave up (actually dried up without trying) and formula fed. I felt no guilt.
5 years later my second son was born and I was all for it. It started out okay even though I had to force myself to eat more and drink a ton of water. This became so difficult…especially since I had a 5 yr old to take care of as well as a newborn and had to cook and clean by myself. If I didn’t have to do all that, it might have been easier. Well when my 3 1/2 mo old was 5 weeks, he got a really bad cold and couldn’t nurse on me. He was barely eating cause he was so sick so I pumped to keep my milk supply. I don’t think this worked very well. Besides this, my right breast was much more full than my left at all times. They say one breast is good for one feeding but my left breast never filled him even at that young age.
Although no one has said this, I actually also wanted my body back after 10 long months of pregnancy. I wanted the best for my baby but was so frustrated after seeing that he wasn’t satisfied and that I wasn’t producing what I felt I should. I also listened to others and took some bad advice about trying to pump all day and breast feed at night. Even though I bought a Medela pump ($300) it wasn’t increasing my supply. I couldn’t keep feeding the majority of my day and keep up with the other duties I have as a mother of a 5 yr old and as a wife. I cried and cried and stopped breastfeeding when he was 8 weeks. After a couple days I even went back to it to try again but it was the same scenario. I wonder now if I had stuck with it would it have gotten better? Would my milk have come in stronger? Part of me says yes the other no. Back in the old days women would have their sisters or aunts, etc breast feed if they couldn’t. We can’t do that nowadays.
I’m rambling but thanks to those who have gone through the same as I have. I am not alone and have found it hard discussing this with other people. I wonder at times if I could take drugs to start up again..it’s only been about 6 weeks. I wish I could start all over again. But at least he got 8 weeks. That’s better than some women who say no from the get-go. Formula is out there for a reason and if it weren’t safe or good for babies, we wouldn’t thrive and we have. I was breastfed for 6 months then went to formula for 6 months. My husband was never breastfed and is a college graduate who is never ever sick!
Don’t feel guilty. You are all good mothers. This is proven by the fact that you cared enough to research feeling guilty about giving up breastfeeding. You wanted to be sure you did everything you could and to make sure your baby is healthy and will stay that way. Remember, the U.S. is an advanced nation and that is why we have formula readily available to us. Maybe in New Zealand this is not the case.
My first week of breastfeeding was intensely frustrating, no sleep, crying fits (baby AND me), etc. I so want to breastfeed but I have tried to examine why I dislike it so much and I believe it is because my body parts are in demand round the clock. I don’t like that. I am completely used to independence in every sense of the word. Now as a first-time mom with a seven-week-old I have been in the house more than ever in my life, have to bring baby everywhere, etc. I think breastfeeding for me is difficult because it largely contributes to my loss of “freedom.” Anyway, I have tried and tried. Our problem is a sleepy baby. He is good at eating but only when he’s awake! He gets to the breast, sucks for MAYBE five good minutes, and zonks. It is unnerving because no one can SIT for an hour to an hour and a half at a time just to get a few little ounces into the little one’s belly! It is grueling! So I now have a double electric breast pump. I like pumping much better than having to put baby to breast. Giving him his feedings through the bottle. It takes about 10 minutes to express my milk and he feeds so much better!
But still with pumping I don’t have enough milk for him… on average about three ounces per pump but he is where he needs between 2 and 6 ounces. Still trying to figure what he even needs. All in all I have found that I just despise having my body in demand like this. I just want to give him formula so badly… just trying to hang in there to do what is best for my son. So close to doing strictly formula though because we supplement with it so much anyway. Husband supports whatever I am comfortable with but prefers breastmilk if possible. This is hard!
I initially wrote on this site March 4th, 2007 and just wanted to give all you Moms wrestling with this difficult decision an update…My son is now a very healthy, happy and loving 16 month-old who has either met or exceeded every milestone! He just recently caught his first cold, never had a fever until AFTER his first birthday and is a fabulous sleeper! I am proud of myself for the efforts that I made, and for making the right choice for me–a happy Mommy equals a happy baby! Someone once gave me this great advice: should someone dare to tell you what they think you should be doing, remind them that you’re the owner of the breasts and consequently, you’ll be making all the breastfeeding-related decisions! Thanks again Stormy, for your kind words and great site!
Thanks Stormy for this site. I can totally relate to the reasons that you gave for stopping breastfeeding. At the end of the day, it is our decision on whether or not to breastfeed. There were times when I would be at my wit’s end when it came to breastfeeding and right now, I would rather have my sanity than be the most miserable mother and wife. My son is thriving on formula and my 2 older children were brought up on formula and they are as healthy as anything. Thanks you, once again.
All i can say is thank you. My 4 month old daughter refuses to nurse, so i’ve been pumping exclusively for the last month. After shedding countless tears of guilt for even thinking of stopping, and when i did have the courage to go online and try to find out how to safely stop I was inundated with pro-feeding messages and how awful it is for hte baby if you stop, it would throw me back into tears and guilt. WHat a vicious cycle that was. Thank you so incredibly much for posting this and for everyone who shared their experience!
Hi ladies, i agree with all of you out there. Breastfeeding is hard work. I have really enjoyed it with my daughter, my first child, she is 3 months now and has been for the last couple of weeks not taking to my breast, just screaming and screaming when i try and latch her on. As soon as i give her a bottle she takes straight away and is a much happier child afterwards. I have the same problem that im not producing enough milk although i am drinking shitloads of water and eating right. I dont agree with midwife and mama at all. Heaps of formula fed babies out there that have grown into healthy happy adults, so stop trying to be a know it all. Yes back in the good old days women had no choice but to breastfeed, but how many of them were happy, and had happy children as a result! Oh by the way JULIE or ANNE MARIE, aborigines are AUSTRALIAN, not New Zealanders. Australia and New Zealand are TWO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES. So you got it wrong when criticising Midwife and Mama’s comment. She is Australian NOT from New Zealand. We New Zealanders dont like being put in the same category as Australians!!! Especially ones that have negative comments such as hers!!!
Thanks for the person that started this blog, as the advice and stories on here are fantastic in helping make choices, albeit hard ones!!!
I take that back!!! I have just read another comment by midwife and mama, and apologise. She says she is working in New Zealand, by god i hope she is a foreigner as im embarrased by her comments if she is a kiwi!! How dare she try and make us all feel guilty about stopping breastfeeding. YES we all know that its the best thing for baby, and we all try and do it for as long as we can, but read the comments lady, some women cant do it for medical reasons, pain, baby wont take the breast (as in my case) etc etc. Get off your high horse. The only thing that matters is that the baby is healthy and ALIVE!!!! My baby is thriving on formula and quite happy for it. My husband gets to spend time bonding with her while feeding her as well, and this is special for him, he loves it.We dont beat our child or abuse our child, we are bloody fantastic parents, so dont try and make me feel otherwise just because i choose not to breastfeed. If you ask me, you are the archaeic one!!! Get your head out of the sand lady and into the 21st century!!
Oh my gosh, just read another comment by midwife and mama. It is NOT illegal for hospitals to give our formula satchets, and midwives DO NOT come to visit every day if required. They come once a week for six weeks after baby is born. I found it hard getting someone to come every day. Plunket is great for support, but even my midwife and Plunket nurse said that if i wanted to switch to formula then that was MY CHOICE! I certainly wouldnt want YOU for a midwife if this is the kind of advice and support you give. You sound like a dictator. You obviously arent open to anything other than pure breastfeeding. So im gathering that you have pushed out all your babies naturally without any pain medication, and if the doctors suggested you needed a caesar that you would have said NO WAY, thats not natural, i will sacrifice myself and rather die giving birth the natural way, im sure you are typing your emails from an organic computer made out of flax and water whilst out gathering berries and huhu grubs for your family’s dinner, washing your clothes in the Waikato River and living in a mud hut!!!!! You are such a hypocrit!! Anyway, enough from me as i’m getting off the subject, but mad love to all you ladies out there that gave breastfeeding a go!!! Your babies will be fine and will grow into healthy lovely human beings, which is more than what i can say for the Mammary Mafia out there!!!
Thank you sooo much. I acutally started to cry as I was reading these entries because I had such overwhelming feelings of relief. During my pregnancy I was absolutely determined to breastfeed my daughter for the first year of her life. Even after she was born I continued with my mental determination. She was in the NICU for the first week of life, and I ended up having to pump and bring her the milk. I found that compared to breastfeeding (feeding on the actual breast), I much prefered the pump. It was quicker, and I knew every time she fed just how much milk she was recieving.
She is just over three months right now. I went back to work a month ago, and like many other women I am noticing on this website, I have almost stopped producing all together. I am lucky if I can pump a total of one ounce lately – in both breasts! My husband is giving me a hard time, telling me that I should continue for the health of our daughter – but it is so miserable pumping every three hours, taking lactating pills, drinking special concoctions, and eating numerous bowls of oatmeal, all in efforts of increasing my milk supply – all to no avail.
I have been so depressed about breastfeeding. Every where I look people are telling me that breast is best, and I know it is, but I am not sure I can take the pressure anymore. I am so happy that I found this website. Each of the entries have provided me with the moral support that I have been unable to find elsewhere. Thank you to all the women out there that took the time to write in with your stories. You have no idea how much you’ve helped me.
I have had 3 children. I breastfed the first one for 9 months with no problems and had no problems when I stopped. I just weaned him and cut out feedings a few at a time until he completely stopped. I guess he was about 10 months or so by the time I completely stopped. My second child was only a month old when I stopped nursing him. He was staying attached to the breast for what seemed like the entire day. He never seemed satisfied. Once I put him on a bottle he was a much happier baby. I stopped “cold turkey” and never got engorged, leaked, or had the feeling of any kind of over full feeling. I felt guilty and was afraid he wouldn’t be as healthy as his big brother. That was not the case at all. I think formula was the best option for him. With the last baby, who just turned 9 months, I had to stop when his tooth came in last week. He was using me for a chew toy and that was not working out. He had started weaning on his own. He eats well and drinks formula and even milk with no problems. Here is the funny side of my story. My left breast is fine. No problems. The right is engorged. I will put a cold pack on it when I finish here. I just wanted to let everyone know that each nursing experience is as difference as the child you are nursing. If it doesn’t work for you once and you really want to do it then you can try again with the next child. On the other hand, using formula doesn’t make you any less a mother. To be perfectly honest, breastfeeding is demanding. If my other children weren’t already in school I don’t think it would have been an option for me.
I have had 3 children. I breastfed the first one for 9 months with no problems and had no problems when I stopped. I just weaned him and cut out feedings a few at a time until he completely stopped. I guess he was about 10 months or so by the time I completely stopped. My second child was only a month old when I stopped nursing him. He was staying attached to the breast for what seemed like the entire day. He never seemed satisfied. Once I put him on a bottle he was a much happier baby. I stopped “cold turkey” and never got engorged, leaked, or had the feeling of any kind of over full feeling. I felt guilty and was afraid he wouldn’t be as healthy as his big brother. That was not the case at all. I think formula was the best option for him. With the last baby, who just turned 9 months, I had to stop when his tooth came in last week. He was using me for a chew toy and that was not working out. He had started weaning on his own. He eats well and drinks formula and even milk with no problems. Here is the funny side of my story. My left breast is fine. No problems. The right is engorged. I will put a cold pack on it when I finish here. I just wanted to let everyone know that each nursing experience is as difference as the child you are nursing. If it doesn’t work for you once and you really want to do it then you can try again with the next child. On the other hand, using formula doesn’t make you any less a mother. To be perfectly honest, breastfeeding is demanding. If my other children weren’t already in school I don’t think it would have been an option for me.
I have had 3 children. I breastfed the first one for 9 months with no problems and had no problems when I stopped. I just weaned him and cut out feedings a few at a time until he completely stopped. I guess he was about 10 months or so by the time I completely stopped. My second child was only a month old when I stopped nursing him. He was staying attached to the breast for what seemed like the entire day. He never seemed satisfied. Once I put him on a bottle he was a much happier baby. I stopped “cold turkey” and never got engorged, leaked, or had the feeling of any kind of over full feeling. I felt guilty and was afraid he wouldn’t be as healthy as his big brother. That was not the case at all. I think formula was the best option for him. With the last baby, who just turned 9 months, I had to stop when his tooth came in last week. He was using me for a chew toy and that was not working out. He had started weaning on his own. He eats well and drinks formula and even milk with no problems. Here is the funny side of my story. My left breast is fine. No problems. The right is engorged. I will put a cold pack on it when I finish here. I just wanted to let everyone know that each nursing experience is as difference as the child you are nursing. If it doesn’t work for you once and you really want to do it then you can try again with the next child. On the other hand, using formula doesn’t make you any less a mother. To be perfectly honest, breastfeeding is demanding. If my other children weren’t already in school I don’t think it would have been an option for me.
I’m sorry but there are a few things I want to add after reading some comments that I feel were rather derogatory toward those of us who have not been able to breastfeed successfully for a long term period of time. Yes I nursed two babies for over 9 months but I also stopped with one of them at less than 2 months.
Since time began there have been women like ourselves that have had little or no ability to breastfeed. No, they did not have formula but there were women who stepped in for them. They were known as a wet nurse. And long before expensive baby formula was on the market women with such difficulties would use canned milk and mix it half and half with water. I am sure there were many other alternatives I can’t think of or have no knowledge of. There are also babies born who cannot have milk. Not even breast milk.
With that said I would like to share one more thing before I go.
As long as there have been hungry babies, there have been nurser bottles and infant feeders. And like everything else, inventors and manufacturers have always tried to improve upon the originals. These vessels of nutrition have been found in a wide array of shapes, sizes and materials from 1500 BC pottery to 16th Century pewter to 17th, 18th and 19th Century glass.
From nursers with rags, bottles with pewter nipples, silver pap boats (for feeding milk with bread) and glass ‘turtle’ bottles with feeding tubes, infant feeding has come a long way and continues to evolve.
http://www.antiquebottles.com/nurser/
So ladies we didn’t fail our children. We evolved!
And I love the Playtex Drop-In’s bottles for making my life a little easier too.
I have had 3 children. I breastfed the first one for 9 months with no problems and had no problems when I stopped. I just weaned him and cut out feedings a few at a time until he completely stopped. I guess he was about 10 months or so by the time I completely stopped. My second child was only a month old when I stopped nursing him. He was staying attached to the breast for what seemed like the entire day. He never seemed satisfied. Once I put him on a bottle he was a much happier baby. I stopped “cold turkey” and never got engorged, leaked, or had the feeling of any kind of over full feeling. I felt guilty and was afraid he wouldn’t be as healthy as his big brother. That was not the case at all. I think formula was the best option for him. With the last baby, who just turned 9 months, I had to stop when his tooth came in last week. He was using me for a chew toy and that was not working out. He had started weaning on his own. He eats well and drinks formula and even milk with no problems. Here is the funny side of my story. My left breast is fine. No problems. The right is engorged. I will put a cold pack on it when I finish here. I just wanted to let everyone know that each nursing experience is as difference as the child you are nursing. If it doesn’t work for you once and you really want to do it then you can try again with the next child. On the other hand, using formula doesn’t make you any less a mother. To be perfectly honest, breastfeeding is demanding. If my other children weren’t already in school I don’t think it would have been an option for me.
I have had 3 children. I breastfed the first one for 9 months with no problems and had no problems when I stopped. I just weaned him and cut out feedings a few at a time until he completely stopped. I guess he was about 10 months or so by the time I completely stopped. My second child was only a month old when I stopped nursing him. He was staying attached to the breast for what seemed like the entire day. He never seemed satisfied. Once I put him on a bottle he was a much happier baby. I stopped “cold turkey” and never got engorged, leaked, or had the feeling of any kind of over full feeling. I felt guilty and was afraid he wouldn’t be as healthy as his big brother. That was not the case at all. I think formula was the best option for him. With the last baby, who just turned 9 months, I had to stop when his tooth came in last week. He was using me for a chew toy and that was not working out. He had started weaning on his own. He eats well and drinks formula and even milk with no problems. Here is the funny side of my story. My left breast is fine. No problems. The right is engorged. I will put a cold pack on it when I finish here. I just wanted to let everyone know that each nursing experience is as difference as the child you are nursing. If it doesn’t work for you once and you really want to do it then you can try again with the next child. On the other hand, using formula doesn’t make you any less a mother. To be perfectly honest, breastfeeding is demanding. If my other children weren’t already in school I don’t think it would have been an option for me.
I have breastfed my son for 15 months now. He and I both love it and it has become extremely more convenient than formula feeding. It was very difficult in the beginning however but I am so glad that I stuck with it. Each person must do what is right for their family and situation, although everyone should know the benefits of breastfeeding and that breastfeeding is not easy in the beginning. I had mastitis twice and clogged milk ducts non-stop. I kept going and dealt with it as I went, one day at a time. If you hang in there for 6-8 weeks it truly gets so much better. I would say at about 2-3 months it became so easy and convenient. Again, I am so glad I stuck with it and you may be too if you hang in there. Go into it knowing it will be difficult and be so proud of yourself when you get through the clogged milk ducts, sore nipples, etc. because you are giving your baby the best nutrients with breastmilk.
I have to say that I have had many people who have tried to discourage me from breastfeeding b/c they thought it was strange I was still b-feeding past six months, or stating that formula is the same, etc. I am so glad I didn’t let their comments and judgements of me breastfeeding get to me. Just as some of you feel that you are being attacked for formula feeding…90% of the people I have come into contact with, think I am crazy for still breastfeeding at 15 months. Just remember, just as I will not judge you for formula feeding do not judge me for breastfeeding.
Thank you soooooo very much for your post! It has completely validated my thoughts and my decision to end breast feeding. I am happy I was able to do it for the 3 weeks that I have. Thank you again!!!
I once read about a woman who had a difficult time breastfeeding, and she was convinced it was a natural process and refused to believe that her baby needed formula. As her baby steadily failed to thrive while breastfeeding, she asked her doctor what happened to babies who couldn’t breastfeed before formula was available. The doctor simply said, “Many of them died.” So to all those heartless, sad people who are judging these women who chose not to breastfeed or could not breastfeed, shame on you. Many babies are alive today because of formula. My mother raised me on formula back in the 70s and I’m intelligent woman (scholarships to college and an executive position at 30 years of age). ALL adopted children are raised on formula. So don’t tell me children are at a disadvantage if they don’t breastfeed. Yes, breastmilk is better, but it’s not the answer to all of life’s problems for you OR your baby.
Just to reassure you lot. Breastfeeding is very painful in the first week or so after a birth. You will feel very engorged and uncomfortable. However, this feeling disappears after the first week and by six months, you breasts will be back to their oldselves. Don’t let the first week put you off. It is really much the easiest thing to do in the first six months when everything has to be sterilised.
I have just stopped feeding my nine month old and she drinks formula from a cup. I stopped because she kept on biting me. The older one was less distracted and more interested in nursing and I fed her at bedtime until she was 13 months.
I think you are all wonderful mothers regardless of whether or not you breast feed your baby. Don’t you dare measure how good of a mom you are based on something like that. Shower your babies with love, give them a warm place to sleep, and a safe place to play. If you gave breast feeding a go and it didn’t agree with you, I see no problem switching to formula. Those people who made negative comments have not walked a day in your shoes. Shame on them. “Australian Aboriginal Bush Woman” (see an earlier entry, March 13, 2007)now i’ve heard everything. Lady–get bent.
Please help!! I have breastfed my son for 7 months now, in spite of afterbirth complications and all. He is only in the 6% on the growth chart. So i nurse him constantly. I work, i am exausted and have no life. He is awake ever hour all night using me as a human pacifer… he refused a bottle or a binkie since day one even after i had to have a emergency DnC. What can i do!!!
Just in the process of giving up breast feeding after 1 painful month (mentally and physically) How wonderful to find a site with so many comments echoing what I think of breastfeeding. I stuck with breast feeding for 3 months with my first child and vowed I would never do it again. But like many others I was pressured by the system and slavishly took it up again for my second child. Formula and a happy mom is far better than the breast and a miserble mom. Breast is definitely not best in the eyes of my lively two year old boy who has to watch his previously playful mummy sat on her bum for 45 mins every 2 – 3 hours feeding his new baby brother. To all you do gooders – breast is best for some but not for all. I presume all the ‘breast is best’ do gooders never put their child in nursery and cook wonderful organic food for the rest of their lives….. Yes I thought so.
I’m from England and attitudes are pretty much the same – breast is best – which means you feel guilty for wanting to stop! I fed my son for 4 weeks and stopped cold turkey after I just felt too overwhelmed and tired to continue. It’s the best thing we’ve done, he’s now super happy and content, now he’s actually full! He slept through the night at 8 weeks and I enjoy the time with my baby rather than dreading him waking up because I knew he’d want feeding… I wil breastfeed my next baby for as long as I want to, but will not abuse myself by feeling guilty when I decide to stop.
Thank you for blogging about this subject! I have decided after 3 miserable weeks of breastfeeding, that I need to quit for my own sanity. I am an unhappy mommy due to sleep deprivation and feeling like my body is a slave to my child’s eating schedule. Not to mention the pain that I endure at each feeding, and the feeling of anxiety when he wakes up ready to eat, knowing the pain I will experience. Breastfeeding is supposed to encourage bonding with your baby, but I feel so distant from him and almost resent him for hurting me and eating so often. The same thing happened with my first son, and I stopped after 5 weeks with him. He is now a healthy, active, incredibly smart 6 year old. He never had any of the problems that are supposed to be more likely to occur with formula fed babies, like recurrent ear infections, food allergies, and weight problems. I have felt guilty about stopping so soon with this baby, and have done a lot of research online trying to find some support, but all I find is info about breastfeeding being the best and how to keep breastfeeding when you want to give up. There is no support for women who really NEED to stop for reasons other than the so-called “valid” reasons, like nipple pain and not producing enough milk. Nobody ever addresses the issues of mom’s mental state and just plain frustration. The one constant support I have had is my husband, who has told me that he will support me in whatever decision I make and that he just wants me to be happy and enjoy our baby. I think that is the most important thing….to enjoy your baby…otherwise you cannot be a good mommy. Thank you again for saying this “out loud” as it seems that this has come to be shameful subject, and we need a lot more support for women like us.
I’m so glad to have found this site. I am a new mom and decided to quit breastfeeding yesterday- my baby is 22 days old. 🙁 Like many others who posted, I have huge guilt but I believe that I was not able to produce milk. I had a difficult 3 day birth ending in a cesarean. At the hospital my breasts were swollen due to the tons of medications, so my nipples were literally flat and we could not get him to latch for the few days I was at the hospital. I requested to meet with a lactation consultant at the hospital, but she called in sick during my stay. One of the nurses finally did spend 5 minutes with us, but it never resulted in a latch. So after leaving the hospital, I went and saw a lactation consultant (crying in her office) and started using the nipple shields and pumping. I continued to do this- feeding him and pumping to supplement many times a day. During my pumping sessions, all I could get was 1 ounce AT THE MOST in ONE day! While he was on the breast I wouldn’t really hear him swallowing, and after each session we gave him formula because he still seemed hungry. Btw, I NEVER had that hard, engorged feeling in my breast that many women talk about. They are still soft. Now he is eating upwards of 20 ounces in a 24 hour period (he was born 9.5 lbs)- and I decided that my 1 ounce a day is NOT going to feed my baby and that stepping up my pumping/sessions on my already sore nipples wasn’t going to fill in the shortage of the other 19 ounces. So with sadness and disappointment, I have given up breastfeeding. I take refuge in knowing that we really tried, because I do still think that “breast is best”. To prepare for breastfeeding, we spent almost $600 on pumps, nursing class/consultants, nursing bras/supplies, etc. I really thought I could feed him for 6 months to a year. Now I only hope I can have a better experience with any future children. In the end, like my cesarean (I wanted a natural, drug free birth–HA!), I’ve had to accept that things don’t always work the way I plan despite how hard I try to turn it around.
Wow!!!
I, too, am so thankful for finding this site.
I have been mulling for the past two weeks about whether or not to continue breastfeeding my 3 month and 1 day old, baby boy Benjamin, my fifth child. He was 5 weeks early and was supplemented with formula from day 1. Benji had problems latching for the first few weeks, so I pumped and bottlefed the BM with a few bottles of formula a day. When he finally started to latch on, with the help of a nipple shield, he would only nurse for about 7 minutes, on ONE breast only. So, I pumped some more and froze or refrigerated for a future feeding.
It is an extremely hard decision for me because, my second child (my only girl) passed from SIDS in 1989 at the age of 2 1/2 months.
My first child, Christopher was not breastfed at all and is soon to be 21. He is fine.
When I had my third child, Daniel (16),
he slept upright in a car seat (the fear of SIDS) for three months and I nursed him for only two weeks. He is fine.
My fourth child, Elijah, was nursed for six weeks. He is fine as well.
Getting passed the guilt is a majoher issue for me now, as before this pregnancy, I had frequent bouts of anxiety and depression.
Today I stopped BF. Benji had his normal 4am and 8am feeding and I am done. I had been freezing some milk from my pumpings, as well, so he’ll have some for a few weeks.
I was constrained to nursing or pumping every 2 hours. I could stretch it to 3 or 4hrs, but I would be in so much pain by then, I started thinking that I should just stop altogether.
I am in so much pain right now that I had to actually pack the pump away. I did not want to give in to the madness that had become my daily routine of sending Benji downstairs with his brothers while I attached and relieved myself.
I took a warm shower to relieve some pain (no manual stimulation at all), packed the cabbage, took some Tylenol and Xanax (I have a pre-pregnancy prescription), have my ice pack handy and am going to stick it out.
I am very proud that I was able to BF for the last three months, but I want MY boobs back. Of course, I love my son, but I am not happy at all. My husband calls it ‘titty psychosis’. LOL
I believe that in the end, everyone will be happier.
This site has been a wonderful find, and I will share this with any of my friends who are contemplating quitting, but feel guilty.
Hang in there to all of you, as I will do the same.
I have a 2 year daughter I nursed for 7 months and the only reason I was able to last that long was a nipple shield. They are an absolute God send!!!! She had latch issues and the lactation consultant gave me one at the hospital when she was born to help her. Now, I have a 7 week old son. He had no latch issues so I felt I should nurse without the nipple shield. After one day of torture in the hospital, I started using the shield. I wonder why these are not offered to every mother who wants to nurse. I have had absolutely no pain nursing at all with either child and that seems to be a major reason of why moms quit. Medela makes them and you can buy them at Target for less than $6.
Anyways, I have decided to stop nursing my son because something that I am eating is tearing his stomach up. I have already cut dairy out of my diet completely. That seemed to work for about 3 days. Because dairy was a huge source of my protien, this has been very hard. His DR. had me switch to soy formula for 5 days to see if it helps, and it seems to be helping his belly (we’re on day 3). I have been pumping in case it the formula didn’t change things so I could go back to nursing, but now I don’t think I want to go back. When you have only one child, you can sit on the couch for hours at a time nursing, but when you have a 2 year old and a new baby, it’s hard to nurse all the time! I feel absolutely guilty but I think it’s best for both us if I stop. Now, I am decreasing the amount I pump and waiting longer. I had mastitis 3 times with my daughter, so I am trying not to wait too long between pumpings. I want my breasts to dry up quick. Any ideas?
Hi Yolanda et al!
I’m stopping feeding my 12 wk old son, George this week. I have a 5 yr old daughter as well who I fed for 8 months. I feel all the guilt and crappiness that goes with stopping but the fact is George is much happier when he has a bottle! Grace was completely different, she fed well at the breast, settled and was happy but George brings back alot of the feed, grunts and falls asleep still hungry. I also suffered from pnd last time round and I think this was due to the fact that I could not leave the baby for even an hour thus complicating everyday life (showering, peeing, having a cuppa etc). This, in retrospect added to my depression, so this time my hubby and mum can help out much more. I think it’s good to know that YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE.
Breastfeeding isn’t a competition where at the finish you end up with the perfect, most contented child (my 5 yr old is definitely testament to that). Every mother is different, some can feed for hours on end, cope with broken nghts and run their day to day lives as well. These supermums may seem like they have it all but most of us can only exist in the moment, esp after 9 months of carrying the baby and the exhaustion of labour and birth. I know I’ve achieved something when I manage to peg the washing out! Don’t put pressure on yourself to feed for months or years when it isn’t right for you, remember nobody has all the answers and it just is not the right thing for everyone.
I know that doesn’t stop us feeling guilty about the ‘evil’ formula feeding but let’s face it as women we’re bound by a lifetime of guilt anyway (the mass media sees to that)! Just remember that a happy mummy equates to a happy baby and surely there is nothing wrong with that?
For easing the engorgment I would swear by cold cabbage leaves (gently crush the veins to release all the healing stuff) and some people recommend sage tea for helping milk to dry up more quickly but don’t take if you are pregnant again!
Good luck with the feeding and the rest of your lives with your beautiful and healthy babies! Cherish every moment x
Ladies, Dr. Michael Kramer of McGill University in Montreal published a landmark study on breastfeeding recently which turned up some very surprising results. Although he and his co-authors did find some medical benefits to breastfeeding, it appears the benefits have been hugely exaggerated in recent years, in terms of improving immunity, intelligence, gastrointestinal, and psychological health.
http://www.slate.com/id/2188499/
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/121/3/e435
Remember, back in the 60s, bottle feeding was the be all-end all. The breastfeeding mum was a freak. The pendulum swung, and now we’re in the all-or-nothing, ‘you have to breastfeed for 1-3 years or you’re a bad mother’ era. Hopefully this study will bring some badly needed rationality to the subject so mothers who have a tough time with breastfeeding stop being saddled with unnecessary guilt! If you manage day one and that’s all, bless you for trying!
Thanks. This has been very helpful.
Thank you, everyone for your honesty, advice, and for giving me a place to tell my story. I just took my 9 week old to a GI specialist after finding blood in her stool on 2 occassions. One possiblr cause is an allergy to something in my diet. There are ways to proceed that would allow me to breastfeed, but I have to cut out wheat, dairy, soy, peanuts, and eggs. It will take 13 weeks to reintroduce all foods again. In that time, I feel like I will be playing Russian roulette with my daughter’s GI tract, just waiting to see what will set it off. Also, lots of foods have ingredients that you wouldn’t expect and if I ingest something without realizing it, my kid will suffer and we won’t realize why. They could end up doing exploratory surgury because I ate something forbiden and didn’t reaize it! I don’t like the thought of that. But the hard parts for me are that I have been through so much already to be able to breast feed. We had to use a supplemental nursing system when she was born and then I got a yeast infection. I felt like I invested so much blood sweat and tears in the hopes that it would eventually improve and the beleif that it was best for my girl. Now my milk, or something in it may be making her sick. The worst part is that I technically have a choice, but it just doesn’t seem fair to her or me. Regardless of what I decide to do, she has to go on a hypoallergenic formula immediately, so the idea that her last time to breast feed already happened and I didn’t know it makes me sad. I appreciate being reminded that I am doing my best and that it can be OK. Thanks.
Thank you so much for this site. I breast fed my now 3-yr old for 4 months, and I am quite satisfied that I did it that long. I’m all into the “natural” thing, but I had to change my mind on a few things after I had to have a c-section for my 3-yr old and subsequently with my 1-week old. I previously would judge those who were not into natural birth, breastfeeding, recycling, no medications, etc. Now I have relaxed my views, and after reading all of the blogs, I see there are only a few that are totally ANTI-FORMULA, and I say “take a chill pill.” My left breast is so sore after a week of breastfeeding that I give up, and my child is actually a good nurser. So THANK GOD FOR FORMULA! Now I just need to wait for the pain to ebb…I just quit immediately with no pumping a little, etc. (I absolutely despise pumping.)
Even though this thread was started over a year ago, I am so happy to have found it. I have a healthy and happy 3 month old baby girl. I also have a HEALTHY and HAPPY 5 year old as well! I nursed my 5 year old for almost 3 months and endured so much pain and anxiety almost the whole time. She got thrush and I had TERRIBLY sore nipples, but kept trying to go through with it. It was a bad experience for me, but I kept seeing a lac. spc. and she Rx’d me medication for the thrush and thrush on my nipples, but I never felt totally healed. After much sadness and pain (I really wanted to be the Wonderful Mom that breastfeeds!!) I decided to give it up. I felt so guilty, just as the many mothers on this post have said, and felt like I was letting my little baby down by not lasting longer. Anyway, I got pregnant with our 2nd child and was elated because I wanted to try (and succeed this time) breastfeeding again. No problems at birth, all went great and even b/f went great for about 3-4 days, then I noticed a little white in her mouth and told her pediatrician I thought she may be getting thrush as my 1st baby did. She said “Don’t worry about it, take some acidopholous (sp?) and you will be ok.” Well, she got thrush super bad and my nipples were again all tore up. I tried pumping exclusively for 6 straight days and it started to heal a bit, but when I put her back to my breast, the pain came back pretty quick. After only 12 days, and remembering back to my first experience, I decided to throw in the towel and quit. I was always crying due to the pain and also crying because I was going back and forth trying to decide what to do (quit or go on). My hubby has been so supportive through it all. He said, “Quit if you need to, you will probably be happier because you won’t be in so much pain!” It was such a hard decision because I was like, “I made it almost 3 months with my first, but I could barely make it 12 days with my 2nd.” It has been almost 3 months now since I quit and I (and baby) couldn’t be happier. Now I only have to endure the emotions of going back to work fulltime next week….oh dear… 🙂 Thanks to all for your posts, very helpful.
This has BEEN REALLY HELPFUL. I am trying to wean my almost 7 mo. old cause she keeps biting and pinching. My third child and I feel proud that i made it this far. My first child attempt lasted 1 day and 2nd child attempt lasted 3 weeks. Guess im getting better with age. But it is not for everyone. I am lucky not to have worked this time around, otherwise I would have forfieted earlier. Now if i can just get past this night feeding & engorgment. I also wanted to add that Jaydan took to nursing fine, but she spits up continueously after every feeding except while sleeping…I was told by 3 Dr.’s that some babies are just spitters…but since I have introduced formula this spitting up has been 95% better. I even altered my diet for months and nothing worked. I am much happier and I think she is too.
I stopped nursing my daughter 2 weeks ago but didn’t become engourged and hurting until yesterday. What is going on? I was a little sore when I first stopped nursing but now the pain is almost unbearable. What can I do? I did try to express a little milk to ease the pain but that made it MUCH worse! Please help!
You know what kills me? I had a terrible delivery. It was quick (7 hours), NO DRUGS, cuz I was going fast (then there was the hours of pushing and discoverying her head was caught in the cord)…and she was almost 9 pounds. Ouch. But I digress. I have large breasts. I had NO milk. I tried and tried and tried. The nurses brought my crying daughter to me it seemed every half hour. I was exhausted and sore and, etc. I tried, I did. I was kept in the hospital for 5 days because I couldn’t stop bleading. Our daughter was fine, but hungry. I tried. The nurses showed me what to do. I tried. When we went home, all she did was cry…I breastfed her on demand…all she did was cry and get frustrated with me. I pumped, and nothing came out. She was HUNGRY…and I had no milk. I called the pediatrician and he said give her a bottle asap. My sis in law brought over formula, and my little newborn ate 4 oz and wanted MORE. I called the doctor again, he said give her 2 more oz. We did, and she was finally happy. She slept for 6 hours, full and happy, and on waking wanted more food. What was I supposed to do? Part of me was relieved because I was so frustrated myself…and part of me was terribly worried she wasn’t getting any nutrition, and the pumping proved she wasn’t. I was completely dry the next day!!! I’m happy to say she is a well-adjusted healthy girl. The guilt I felt for not having milk was PUT ON ME by society forcing the breastfeeding to begin with. Frankly, 6 weeks is enough, and they say a week is also good. Having a toddler, who can talk, walk, think, chew with teeth, on your boob….that’s just UNnatural.
I have been reading through these comments for the past half hour and what a laugh I had. Just loved it. That nasty old society, putting so much pressure on you all to breastfeed. Everybody quitting after 1 or 2 weeks. Do you know how spoilt you all sound?
Just out of interest:
Does everybody in the USA “pump” their milk? Do you actually pay for breasfeeding consultations?Don’t you have home visitors or child health visitors(free service offered in most European countries and in Australasia) to help out.Do they hand out formula samples in hospitals ???(thats illegal in most countries) The amount of misinformation is astounding. And there you have some people who are not even going to try breastfeeding because they stumbled onto this site! wow! But anyhoo, just so you know:
The Australian Breasfeeding Association has a good article on weaning- sudden or gradually. Go to their website and go to breastfeeding information. There is also a piece on feeling guilty about quitting(which most of you will need) and a section on weaning toddlers (which most of you won’t need).
Thank you. It is comforting to know I am not alone in my aches, pains, worry, stress, guilt and frustration. Especially it is good to know that many women have found they have made the correct choice in deciding to stop breastfeeding. My little girl will not benefit from having a mother in so much pain she is aftaid to feed her. I know she sensed my anxiety and there are countless other ways we loving mothers can show our love and devotion to our babies without sacrificing our physical and emotional health and well-being, not to mention our sanity. Thank you again!
Hey Cindy..(post Oct 9 2008).
I apologise to those people who may read this and do not approve of profanity. But I really can’t keep my head down about this one..
Cindy, why don’t you fuck off. You say you’ve been reading these posts for half an hour. Well so have I, and I didn’t feel that any of these comments were from ‘spoilt’ women. I felt that they were comments from women who were suffering, anxious, and at the end of their collective tethers. Are you watching in Bitch!Vision? Now, I don’t know you, and for all I know milk flows out of your generous udders like manna from heaven and you could feed all our kids. I don’t care. If you can read these posts and say what you’ve said then a) you have no empathy and b) I despise you. Putting in links to helpful information doesn’t sweeten your nasty little pill. Personally I wouldn’t trust your information or want your advice. If your intention is to shame people into continuing to breastfeed by posting your nonsense here…how dare you? It’s not your choice to make, and I think you might find, if you read these posts through properly, that the people writing them have actually spent quite a bit of time trying very hard to decide what to do, and really really don’t need your ‘help’. I hope you come back on here and read this, I really do (and as I have my suspicions you’ve posted previously, I think you might). I’ve posted here before, and been through what these women have, and I can tell you categorically that I did not ever stop because I was bored with it, or couldn’t be bothered, or (and how your implication here pisses me off) because I didn’t care about my children. Who, incidentally, are perfectly healthy and normal. As am I. Anyway, I know I’m rambling, so I just want to sum it all up for you. Fuck. Right. Off.
Thank you so much for this!
I finally made the decision last night to stop breastfeeding my son.
Together, we battled through 5 weeks of hell. I am struggling to come to terms with everything so far. Nothing has gone to plan. He was born by emergency caesarean a week and a day overdue after a strip and stretch the day before, a 12 hour labout that didn’t progress at all, and a very distressed baby who’s heart nearly stopped as the cord was around his neck twice. Then, when he was a week old, and weighed by the visiting midwife, he had lost weight. I was upset beyond belief as he was feeding practically constantly. He was difficult and she told me to put him to the breast every time he seemed to want it. Needles to say, I spent they entire day following in bed with him attatched to my breast. My mother came in to find me bawling and devastated and after a long discussion, she went and bought some formula for him to supplement. I had been in tears every feed from excruciatingly painful nipples, and just as they started to get better, he and I developed thrush (I had already been suffering from severe vaginal thrush from the antibiotics from hospital – my thighs were red raw) and I also developed cracked nipples. I persevered and the thrush was finally easing but my son wouldn’t latch properly. He would take to the breast for a few seconds and then fuss and pull off and scream. I know I had no problems with supply because when I did manage to get him back on, he would feed for about 5mins and then pull off and refuse it and I would still be able to express. The stress was too much for me. He wasn’t content and just refused to breastfeed so I discussed it with my Mother on the phone last night. I just needed someone to say that it was OK.
Nobody tells you how difficult it can be to breastfeed, and the emotions you go through when you feel that you are not an adequate parent because you can’t even provide for your child. I tried, damnit, I know I did and if anyone lectures me, or if one more person says, “Oh! You aren’t breastfeeding?!”, well I think I just might loose it. Do they think I would just give up on the best food for my child without fighting for it? He is the only thing that I am concerned about and I think I have earned the right to be stress free about it all after all I have been through… Now I just have to find the balls to say something to my M.I.L who grabbed my son off my husband before I had even been able to meet him due to the general anesthetic. Wish me luck!
Thank you for posting your personal experience. I came across it when I needed it most & was desperate to find anyone that was experiencing similar issues as myself. I just stopped breastfeeding one week ago – my newborn was 3 weeks old. I have a new respect for those mothers who are able to breastfeed for longer. It was a tough decision to stop, however, it was taking a mental toll on me. I had to go to pump full time because my baby had a short latch and was feeding every 30-45 minutes as a result. I was not enjoying one bit of the breastfeeding experience. I still have plenty of bonding time with my child & feel as if we are all happier as a result.
On a side note, I strongly suggest using cabbage leaves to relieve some of the pain & swelling associated with engorgement. It was a lifesaver. I stopped cold turkey & experienced a bit of discomfort. However, I was mentally ready to stop & prepared for the pain. It was manageable. The worst of the pain lasted about 3 days & eased up after. I wore snug nursing bras, double nursing pads & cabbage leaves for about 4 days. It wasn’t pretty, but did the job. In additon, I put ice paks over cabbage on top of my breasts for about 10 minutes 2-3 times a day for 3 days.
Thank you all so much for sharing. Thank you Stormy for starting this, I teared up while reading some of the posts. Its great to know there are other people out there with the same feelings. I have been pumping for 11 weeks and ready to call it quits. Everywhere you look, there is only “breast is best” information, and you are made to feel very guilty about quitting. I spent the first month of my baby’s life crying and feeling like a failure. I’m happy I stuck it out this long, but ready to move onto the next phase of our relationship. And if formula was that bad, why would it be sold over the counter? Why would it not be banned by the FDA? Both my husband and I were formula fed exclusively and we turned out just fine!!!!!